Chapter 119 ANGER AND GUILT
1775words
My head is exploding when I regain my consciousness, I move and hit something, I turn to look and find Tessa beside me, she is sleeping beside me without clothes, I frown and when I look down at myself I am also naked.
What the…?
It takes me some time to realize what I had done and I groan in frustration. What have I done?
Boiling with rage, I stand up and quickly wear my clothes, and leaves the room. I go straight to Ann's room, How could Ann do something so heinous as this? How dare she…
Without even knowing about the time and knocking on her door, I storm inside and find her sitting awake on her bed.
"Why, Ann?" I question angrily.
Ann looks at me for a moment and then replies, "You have right on her, she is your wife."
"But I didn't sleep with her as my wife. I took her as Mona, this is wrong and absurd. How could you drug me and send me to rape an innocent woman, why Ann? I thought you liked her." I gasp in disbelief.
What the hell goes wrong with Ann? I had never imagined that one day she would stoop so low just for a child.
"Andrew, I did what is necessary, and don't forget that I am your elder sister." Ann reminds me sharply and I scoff.
"Tessa is also someone's sister how could you treat her like this, Ann," I question and Ann raises her brow in confusion.
"Me? I haven't done anything Andrew. It was you who did everything to her."
Ann says the bitter reality and I shrug uneasily.
"But, you drugged me," I say defensively.
"That doesn't matter Andrew. What has to be done, it's done already. Now start spending some time with her, one time isn't enough, you need more nights with her." Ann says bluntly and I look at her in extreme shock, how could she be so shameless?
Not for once, she has asked if Tessa is fine or not?
"I am never going to sleep with her, again," I tell her firmly and before I lift my foot to leave her room, she suddenly burst into crying.
BOO… HOO… BOO… HOO…
"Ann…" All my anger subsides in a moment when I see her sobbing and I immediately walk over to hold her.
"I just needed a child, Andrew. You know because of our father I have suffered so much. It isn't my choice Andrew. I am also helpless, I don't want to die alone. I am getting old."
She weeps in my arms and my heart tightens.
"SHE DESERVES GOOD IN HER LIFE."
My mother's words ring in my ears tensing my body.
"Ann, please don't cry. I am sorry that I misbehaved… I won't do it again."
"Andrew, I swear I did this for your own good. Start spending some time with Tessa, she will help you in forgetting about Mona's betrayal. She will never betray us like Mona and also gives us what we desperately need, a child." Ann says, her eyes red from the crying.
I nod my head and then kiss her forehead, "I will try my best, Ann…" I make an unspoken promise to her.
Perhaps this is my fate, Tessa being in my life as my wife and the mother of my child.
After calming Ann, I go back to my room and take a shower. I don't know for how long I stay under the faucet as the flashes of the night keep appearing in front of my eyes making me feel remorse.
I walk out disoriented and think of checking on Tessa, I don't know how to explain the things to her, would she forgive me or leave me or hate me for the rest of her life?
I stand outside the door for a long while pondering in my heart if I should really enter her room, but I have hurt her and it's my responsibility to take care of her and be answerable to her.
At last, taking a deep breath I enter, she is sleeping soundly, I switch on the bedside lamp and watch her intently from afar, her face looks bruised, God, Did I hit her last night?
I've never hit a woman on her face before, how shameful it is.
I feel like drowning in my own guilt when I hear Tessa's low whisper.
"W..a..t..e..r…"
I look around for the water and then taking the glass I slowly walk towards her, her eyes closed and tears streaming down her face making me die in shame.
I quietly place the glass near her mouth and she starts to gulp it down quickly, and as expected she chokes on water.
COUGH... COUGH... COUGH
I start rubbing her back and ask in concern, "Are you ok?"
Her eyes widen when she notices me beside her, and her clear eyes start to fill with water and my heart tightens at the sight, "Please… Don't cry…"
I request softly she looks frightened at me and with difficulty she speaks, "DON'T… DON'T HURT ME..."
I freeze at her words and then gulp nervously, "Tessy, please don't cry… Let me explain… Let me…" I begin to communicate but I am not able to find the suitable words as I start running my hands in my hair feeling frustrated.
All my frustration vanishes when I hear Tessa sobbing, I look at her pitiful state, perhaps this is not the right time to explain things. She is not in the right state of mind, she is terrified of me.
I leave the room quickly with the guilt eating me up alive, I go down and find Miss Celine. "Miss Celine, please go and help Tessa."
She looks at me for a moment confused and then nodding her head she walks towards the elevator.
Remembering Tessa's bruised face, I walk towards the kitchen in search of an icepack. Taking the ice pack I walk back to my floor and see Miss Celine walking out of Tessa's room. "How is she? Is she still crying? Did she ask for food? Can she open her mouth to eat? Do we need a doctor?" I ask multiple questions in one breath and Miss Celine looks at me stunned.
"She wants to be alone." She informs and a pang of sadness creeps over my heart.
"Oh."
"Please give her this ice bag, it will reduce the swelling," I tell her as I hand her the ice pack from my hand.
She disappears and I go back to my room feeling anxious, and sad.
I should be mourning Mona's betrayal but now I am here dying in my own regretful and shameful acts.
"Sir, breakfast?" Miss Celine knocks at my door and I shake my head, How could be I eating food when Tessa is laying in the room with an empty stomach.
After a while feeling anxious, I walk towards her room and enter, she is sleeping soundly and I walk over to sit beside her, the room is a mess and her condition is worse than that.
She is taking deep breaths, her chest rising and falling in sync as I watch her intently, she has marks on her neck, and her hands and I am sure there must be a few on her thighs as I remember squeezing her and spreading her wide for me.
F**k, I close my eyes in dismay and suddenly I hear her movements, and then she moves to murmur some unintelligible words in her sleep.
Out of a sudden, she opens her eyes while panting heavily.
"You're awake…" I ask in concern as she wakes with a jolt, she must be having a nightmare, about what? Me perhaps.
"I know you're angry, scared, and hurt by me but please let me explain first." She widens her eyes as she looks at me and then as I try to explain she starts shaking her head and then tries to rise from the bed.
I hold her wrist impassively to stop her from hurting herself more.
I pin her down on the bed and plead, "Tessy, stop, please…"
She stops moving, and then I ask, "So, will you listen to me?"
She nods her head in response, and I retreat immediately, sitting beside her. I keep some pillows behind her back and then help her to sit properly.
"Did… Did I do this?" I ask, pointing my finger at her bruised face. I still couldn't believe that I had raised my hand on her.
"I fell." She shakes her head and I breathe a sigh of relief.
"I don't know how to explain this… But last night…" I start to explain but again I am nervous and clueless about what to tell her as I try to keep things light between us, "Last night, I wasn't in my senses. I didn't know what I was doing.." I take a deep sigh and then look at her for a response.
"Who is Mona?" She asks which is completely unexpected for me.
I ponder for a moment and then finally making up my mind, I tell her the truth, "She… She was my girlfriend, We were together for two years, I always wanted to marry her but Ann… She forced me to marry you, she needs an heir and Mona doesn't want any kids now but.."
I pause looking at her hesitantly, I don't know if she will like the next revelation, "She got pregnant and I thought that now Ann would accept her, and then after divorcing you, I could marry her but no. Unlucky me, that date night was a celebration of my unborn child too but when I reached her apartment, I didn't find her, but an abortion letter with her handwritten note in which she breaks off all the ties with me and left me alone and broken…" I sigh sadly after revealing the truth, it feels like I have put down a lot of burden from my chest but her next question again makes me feel heavy with guilt.
"Why did you punish me then?"
Oh, Tessa, I never wanted to punish you.
"I didn't… I was drunk... I lost my senses and I deeply regret it. I am sorry, please forgive me." I lie I can't tell her what Ann did to her, to us last night.
She sneers in disdain and then looks away from me, I know I won't be getting her forgiveness so soon and I am willing to wait for her to forgive me with all her heart.
