Chapter 189 MISSING HER
1739words
At 4 '0' I received a message from Jethro in which he had sent me Tessa's picture with my son in her arms. I smile sadly as I trace her features with my finger.
WAA…
Aaron moves and I look up at him, he is awake and blinking his blue eyes at me. I know he is complaining after all I have just put his life at risk how selfish a father I am.
I know.
Sigh
"Look, your mommy and brother." I showed him the phone even though he couldn't understand but still, he widened his blue eyes and watched the picture intently.
I smile and then keeping back my phone, I start caressing his tiny head, "Your mother doesn't know about you. Will you blame me for keeping you with me, huh?" I ask foolishly and he again makes a sound, making me stunned.
I think he understands me but it's impossible, he's just an infant.
I chuckle and then give him my finger to hold. He feels excited when he holds my finger and I keep talking with him as I don't want this night to be spent with his mother's memories and my longing for her.
After Aaron falls asleep, I look at the necessities that the nurse uses daily on him. A thought appears in my head concerning my elder son as I walk out and look for Dr. Leen.
Because of the chaotic incident, Dr. Leen is still in the hospital today otherwise she would never stay the night.
****
"I need all the list of the necessities that my son needs." I request her.
She folds her arm calmly and then asks, "For which son?"
"You know which one…" I tell her meaningfully, feeling a bit hesitant.
I don't know if I should really trust her and tell her that I have sent Tessa to Chicago. What if she tells Ann about it, after all, she is her friend but she also has saved me from Ann.
Arghhh…
Should I trust her or not?
"Here."
I was perplexed when she handed me the list.
"Oh." I take the list from her hand and looking at my surprised look, she sneers, "I am a human, I did everything out of sympathy. I don't want to be involved in any drama at all."
"Noted," I responded and then left her room after thanking her politely.
"Hey Jethro, I am sending a list. Ask your man to buy these things and send them to Tessa in the morning." I command him lightly.
"List? What list?" He questions puzzled.
"Daily necessities," I explain.
"Oh ok… BTW what have you done to that girl… She looks pathetic in the picture… Are you sure she is the one you love?" Jethro asks in doubt.
Yeah, I know Tessa looks miserable and ugly in her pictures so what? I am the one who made it like this. She was never like this.
"She isn't any girl but my wife… And yes, I do love her, okay?" I ask sarcastically and I hear him snort.
"Send me the list."
"I am…" I tell him in a clipped tone and then hurriedly send him the list.
Tessa will be needing all the necessary things. After all, she is a new mother, she wouldn't be able to figure things out on her own.
*****
ONE MONTH PASSED
"Congratulations, Sir." Miss Celine congratulates me as soon as I enter the mansion with Ann beside me who is carrying Aaron. Finally, Aaron is healthy and we have brought him home.
The days in the hospital were terrible and our normal life has been affected by his health concerns a lot.
Ann never left the hospital and I also rarely visited my office.
Thankfully, Ann had let go of Tessa's topic and our missing son but I know deep inside she is still searching for our son. It's just she is not showing any emotion but I know she is desperate to find him and because of it, I have asked Jethro to keep trained people beside Tessa that would protect her from any unfortunate event to happen to her and our son.
"Congratulations Miss Swan," Miss Celine congratulates Ann happily and then looks beside us searching for Tessa.
My heart tightens when I realize that Tessa will never be coming to this mansion again with our child. Miss Celine somehow was able to understand that Tessa will no longer be with us as she didn't ask about her at all.
Silently, she led our way toward Ann's floor.
Yes, Ann has prepared Aaron's nursery on her floor and I don't dare to object. His nursery is all colored with blues and off whites, all wooden furniture, and there I see two young women that must be his nannies from now on.
I wonder if young girls could take care of an infant but Ann won't hire someone who is less experienced in this field.
After setting Aaron in his new room. I walk back to my floor and my heart skips a beat when I notice the pictures in my room.
Our wedding pictures.
I look around my room and my heart starts to feel empty, where is my Tessy?
Absent-mindedly, I walk towards the wardrobe. With hesitation, I open the wardrobe and find Tessa's clothes neatly hung inside it.
My heart tightens as I start tracing her clothes and then closing my eyes I try to feel her around me.
My eyes start to feel heavy and my breath starts to get shallow as I feel a rock pressing on my heart choking my soul bit by bit.
KNOCK … KNOCK …
A knock on the door disrupts my thoughts and I open my eyes sniffing back my involuntary tears.
"Yes."
Miss Celine enters with a sad face and then hands me something that nearly pierces my heart.
"Miss always used to keep this in her drawer. I was afraid it would get lost so I kept it with me safely." She says and I look down at my palm.
Her wedding ring burns my skin badly, I feel a terrible ache in my heart as I stare down at the ring shining brightly in my palm.
"Thank you." With difficulty, I speak out the words.
"She was a very good girl, young, full of energy, and love." Miss Celine says emotionally defining Tessa and I nod my head in agreement.
"She needs happiness and love and here, she could get none of it," I tell her in a choked voice.
Trying my best to restrain my emotions. It's been a month since I haven't shed a single tear in remembering Tessa but today I feel like a pool of tears is ready to shed down.
The burden and heaviness have increased in my heart and I need to shed them down.
Miss Celine sighs, sniffing back her tears, and then she pats my shoulder in comfort, "God will definitely bless you with happiness, Sir. Don't lose hope. I will pray for Miss and your son." She says gently and I thank her politely.
"Miss Swan has asked for dinner, Sir. After an hour." She informs and I nod my head in response.
I keep her wedding ring with my mother's jewelry box and then enter the washroom to take a shower. Under the hot scalding water, I try to not focus on my moments with Tessa in this bathroom. The way she looks at me, her tears, her passion, her desire, her lust.
Everything makes my heart tighten and Alas, I cry out like a small child.
My tears get mixed with the water as I sob heavily remembering my loving wife. I hope she misses me too. I hope she too yearns for my warmth in her sleep.
*****
"What happened to your eyes?" Ann asks as we both sit together to have the very first dinner in the mansion together since Aaron has been born.
"Nothing… I am just tired." I shrug off the topic as I try to rub my eyes with a tissue.
"It's ok, I will find our son. That woman won't be able to go far away." Ann comforts me and I roll my eyes inwardly.
You can never find her Ann, I will make sure of it.
Also, I have sent her to Chicago, a place where all your bad memories stay. I know you will never look for her there because it was a horrendous place for you to visit.
I couldn't protect her while fighting with you on the front so let's protect her silently.
As I start to eat dinner, I feel like chewing rubber, I miss my wife's cooking and my gaze keeps going to the chair beside me where Tessa used to sit.
For a moment, I felt her presence beside me but it was just a hallucination. Ann notices the weirdness in me but she doesn't say a word as she takes it as distress from my son's disappearance.
I walk back to my room that feels empty without Tessa, I feel crumbling pain as I sit on the bed and keep staring at our wedding picture.
After a while, I lay down trying to sleep but I really couldn't because Tessa's warmth isn't on my bed. I take a pillow and hug it tightly in my arms thinking of it as Tessa.
I am so terrible here without you, Tessy. I am missing you so much.
Are you also missing me?
I have brought our son home, he is healthy now. He reminds me of you.
Does our elder son also remind you of me?
Is he making you think about me?
Do you still hate me, Tessy? Or have you forgiven me, now?
What are you doing in Chicago, Tessy? I am dying to see you but I know I can't and this is the only way to keep you happy and safe.
Keeping you away from me is the only way to your happiness but I am yearning for you, burning with the deep pain of ecstasy. I need you to come back to me and bring back the light in my world as now again I am engulfed in the darkness and drowning in dreadful loneliness.
Will you think about my loneliness, Tessy?
Will you come back and save me?
Will You??
