Chapter 39 FORGIVENESS
1727words
Suddenly, I smell the aroma of food, and my stomach growls again, I look in the direction of the aroma and see Andrew pushing a trolley inside my room.
I roll my eyes when I notice a warm smile on Miss Celine's face, God, this man can seriously go to any limit in order to maintain his good-guy image in front of Miss Celine.
As he push the trolley towards me, I couldn't help but look at him with complete disgust.
Had I ever thought that one day I would be looking at Andrew with disgust in my eyes? Never…
He passes me a small smile but I completely ignore him as I take the bowl of soup from his hand and start to drink it hungrily, I frown as my mouth moves, stretching my facial muscles gives me unnerving pain, I eventually slow down and very carefully chew my food because it hurts me a lot whenever I put some force in chewing food.
I feel like my jaw is also bruised.
I finish my breakfast and when I look at the wall clock I realize that it's lunchtime now.
I shrug and look at Andrew who is intently watching me, why is he still in casual clothes and not left for work? I thought but didn't ask him anything.
I know today I am not going to see Sir Alex, as I again lay down to rest. Miss Celine brings me the painkillers and I take them immediately.
After Miss Celine leaves, I was hoping that Andrew will leave too but to my surprise, he stays and then comes over to sit beside me, I move away from him and he shakes his head helplessly.
"What are you doing?" I ask him angrily, as now Miss Celine has gone he should stop putting an act of good husband, right?
"Nothing…" Andrew shrugs.
"Please leave my room." I tell him and he frowns, "You said that husband and wife stay in one room."
Oh wow, his words made me speechless for a moment.
"You are not…" I begin to clear his misconception of being my husband but he interrupts me, "I am still your legal husband." He says firmly and I pause, getting furious, I blurt out, "So let's get a divorce then. There is no point in keeping a marriage with a man who has someone else in his heart."
He looks dumbfounded and then murmurs after a while, "How would you know if there is someone in my heart?"
"I can tell," I reply, emotionlessly.
"No, you can't." He says keeping his tone low, "No matter what, I don't want to keep this marriage, Kindly talk with Ann and finish this baseless marriage." I tell him firmly.
"I won't talk to Ann regarding this topic, if you want to end this marriage, go ahead and talk to Ann," he says stubbornly and I sigh, frustrated.
"I don't understand why now?" I ask him, feeling exhausted by his unnecessary stubbornness.
"Why not now? At least give me a chance. Let me put everything into their right place." He says with determination and I look away, no Andrew, this time things won't go the way you like to go.
This time, I will decide everything and I have decided I want to put an end to this meaningless marriage and escape from your cruel love and the pain that comes from my closeness with you.
Arguing with him is just useless as I decide to pursue my lips and then giving him my back, I close my eyes pretending to be asleep, but my mind is awake fully awake I could sense him moving beside me, and I could feel his gaze on my back.
But the thing is, I don't understand why is he here? And what does he want now?
Is he trying to find a substitute lover in me as his girlfriend has left him?
I frown badly and these thoughts make me restless, I always wanted Andrew to be near me but today as he is showing his care and concern and not wanting to leave my side, I feel upset. Yes, because things have changed completely now.
I don't want him to get close to me anymore. I need some space I need some time to think.
His brutal act, the confession of his love, everything was a lot of burden on me and I need to shed that burden away slowly.
I move absent-mindedly and there I notice Andrew who is sitting beside me, still in the same position. "Can't sleep?" He asks calmly and I roll my eyes, unhappily. "Leave me alone."
"No…" He refuses immediately.
"There is no point in doing this now," I snap angrily.
"I know… But.. Just let me try.." He says softly and I start to boil with anger.
"Fine, If you're not leaving then I will," I say angrily and push away my blanket. Without thinking, I stand up in order to leave the room but as my foot touch the floor and I realize how swiftly I moved, a burning pain starts to shoot from my V, and pressing my legs together I stagger and fall helplessly.
"Ahhh…"
Thankfully, Andrew saves me at the time, I hold on to his arm tightly, my V still too painful, I wince as he picks me up and then put me back in my place.
"You should stop acting stupidly…" He says with his jaw clenched and my eyes widen in disbelief, It was you because of whom I am suffering, and still, you are showing me anger, seriously.
"And who's telling me that.." I scoff and he glares at me, I glare back, seriously Andrew. Do you think your actions were justified? And I won't bring it again and again?
"Tessy, I had explained to you why all that happened and I am still here with you that means I am guilty about that… Why can't you see?" He asks, frowning in displeasure.
"It's only a half-day, Andrew that you had spent with me and you look tired of me already. I didn't ask you to do anything for me, I am asking you to leave me alone." I shout, and my emotions start to go out of control.
"Would you forgive me If I leave you alone?" He asks, and I look at him in a daze, Say yes, Tess, Say yes… Isn't this you want but suddenly I feel a lump stuck in my throat, after all when you love someone deeply you can't let that person go away easily.
But when that person never loves you and uses you for his benefit and even hurts you in the most brutal way, then you should keep your self-respect and let them go away. If they truly love you they will surely find a way to come back.
Taking a deep breath, I gather my courage and says finally, "I can think about it, now please leave me alone."
BOOM
Andrew looks at me with complete shock, he didn't expect me to ask him to leave, he stands up reluctantly and then asks in his deep voice, "How long?"
I gulp nervously and reply plainly, "I don't know."
Yeah seriously, I don't know Andrew how long these emotions are going to rule over my heart, I loved you deeply and that is why it's hurting me much more than it should.
Leaning back, I press my painful temples while my eyes remain closed, I hear a click of the door and release the breath that I was holding.
I open my eyes and look at the door blankly, sighing, I just don't understand if what I did was right or wrong but if Andrew really wants our marriage to work he would definitely find a way to come back, and when I will see the truth in his eyes instead of being guilty only then I would be able to forgive him.
This day, I spend in my bed because all the little movements hurt, Andrew didn't show up all day making me both disappointed and relieved.
****
The next day, Ann takes me to the hospital as I still feel some discomfort in my V the same Japanese Asian Doctor checked me, thankfully, this time she is gentle with my V. I sigh in relief, she prescribed some medicines and gel for me.
Ann hands me over my medicines and asks me for a proper rest. I wanted to tell her that I want to head for a divorce but somehow the words remain at the tip of my tongue and it never comes out of my mouth.
I walk back with a small bag of medicines as Miss Celine sees me coming over, she takes away the bag and starts checking my medicines. I sit on the sofa disinterestedly and then take out my phone to talk with my mother.
I feel calmer after talking my heart out with my mother. Mothers are the best. I walk back to my floor and ask Miss Celine to bring my lunch to my room. I intend to take a warm bath first, but as I enter my room I feel stunned to see Andrew.
He was walking out in a rush and we both bump into each other as usual, "Tessy… are you hurt?" He asks worriedly.
I wanted to shout out "yes a lot" but I remain silent and shrug away from him, he looks somehow unhappy and disappointed from my indifferent behavior, well, I can't help it that's your own doing Andrew.
Stepping aside, he lets me enter my room, I walk inside and stop as I notice what he had been up to in my room.
"I hope you don't mind those…" He says with his charming smile and I try my best to not get fascinated by his charm again as I keep my eyes on the pictures that he had just hung over my bed.
These are our wedding pictures and I wonder what he is trying to prove by showing me those pictures? Our Loveless Marriage?
