Chapter 12
734words
His reply comes quickly: *Of course. Your place in an hour?*
I spend that hour pacing, rehearsing what to say, how to explain without revealing too much. By the time Damon's truck pulls up, I'm a bundle of nerves.
"Hey," he says when I open the door, his smile cautious. "You okay?"
I gesture him inside. "Not really."
We sit on my small couch, an uncomfortable distance between us. Damon watches me patiently, waiting for me to speak.
"I can't see you anymore," I finally say, the words rushing out. "I'm sorry, Damon. You're wonderful, and these past weeks have been amazing, but I can't continue this."
His expression falls, but he doesn't seem entirely surprised. "Can I ask why?"
I take a deep breath. "It's complicated."
"It's Ivan, isn't it?" he asks quietly.
I stare at him, shocked. "How did you—"
"I'm not blind, Luci," he says with a sad smile. "The way he looked at you that night in the forest. The way you've been since then. It wasn't hard to figure out."
"I'm so sorry," I whisper, guilt washing over me.
Damon is silent for a long moment, his face a mask of controlled pain. "Are you mates?" he finally asks.
The direct question catches me off guard. "I... yes. But Damon, I didn't know when we started dating. I swear I didn't."
I watch as he struggles with his question, his hands clenching on his knees. A muscle works in his jaw as he fights to maintain composure. This is a man who prides himself on control, now facing the possibility that the woman he’s falling for belongs to his Alpha by our most sacred bond.
He sighs, asking slowly: "When did you find out?"
"At the border incident," I admit. "When I treated that injured girl."
"And you've been avoiding both of us ever since," he concludes. "Makes sense now."
I reach for his hand. "I never meant to hurt you."
"I know." He squeezes my fingers briefly before letting go. "For what it's worth, if it had to be someone else... I'm glad it's Ivan."
His words surprise me. "What?"
Damon sighs heavily, running a hand through his hair. "Don't get me wrong—this hurts like hell. But Ivan is... he's the best man I know, Luci. Honorable, fair, loyal to a fault. He'll treat you well."
A bitter laugh escapes me. "That's just it. I'm not going to be with him either."
Now it's Damon's turn to look shocked. "What? Why not?"
"I have my reasons," I say, unable to explain the curse. "Important ones."
"You're rejecting your mate?" Damon sounds incredulous. "Luci, do you have any idea how rare that connection is? How many wolves spend their entire lives hoping to find what you have?"
"I know," I say miserably. "Believe me, I know."
Damon studies me for a long moment. "So this is why you've been so unhappy lately. Not because of me, or even because of Ivan, but because you're fighting the mate bond."
I nod, unable to speak around the lump in my throat.
"Whatever your reasons are," he says gently, "they must be serious. I won't push. But Luci, are you sure? Really sure? Because walking away from your mate..."
"I'm sure," I say, though my wolf howls in protest. "I need to be alone right now, Damon. To figure things out."
He nods, standing slowly. "If that's what you need." At the door, he pauses. "For what it's worth, I think you're making a mistake. Ivan is a good man, Luci. The best. Whatever's holding you back... I hope you find a way past it."
After he leaves, I curl up on my couch, fresh tears flowing. I've hurt Damon, I'm hurting Ivan, and I'm tearing myself apart in the process.
My phone buzzes with a text. From Damon: *I meant what I said. Ivan will give you a good life. Think about it.*
If only he knew the truth—that a life with Ivan would be wonderful, but tragically short. That the curse would claim us both, leaving nothing but grief in its wake.
My wolf whines softly, a sound of such longing that it breaks my heart all over again.
"I'm sorry," I whisper to her, to Ivan, to the universe that has dealt us this cruel hand. "I'm so sorry."
