Chapter 61: Why is the Heart Foolish?
1082words
The doctor didn't discharge me that day because I felt a mild pain in my abdomen, so we were only going home this morning. Gabriel was still distant. He barely spoke to me last night, and this morning he was just as silent.
'Can we talk about it?" I asked. He ignored me, focusing on the road. 'Why are you sulking?"
'I am not sulking," he replied coldly.
'Then, what are you doing?"
'Nothing."
'What did I say wrong? Why are you acting cold and distant?"
'I'm trying to concentrate on the road," he said, drawing out each word like I was forcing him.
'Pull over," I demanded.
'I can't do that."
'I need to pee."
'In the middle of the road?" He snapped his head toward me.
'Should I pee on myself?" I tilted my head, challenging him.
'We just left the hospital a few moments ago. Why didn't you pee there?"
'Are you pulling over or not?"
'We're in the middle of the road, Scarlett. How do you expect to pee here in broad daylight?"
'Just pull the fucking car over now!" I groaned, and he instantly hit the brakes.
'Fine. Do whatever you want."
'I want us to talk."
'So, you're not peeing anymore?"
'I was never going to pee. I just want us to talk," I admitted. 'It wasn't wrong for me to say Nathan cares about me because he really does. That shouldn't be a big deal, so why the hell are you sulking?"
'I am not sulking," he snapped. 'I don't want us to fight on the road. Can we go now?"
'You really want to fight me? What has gotten into you, Gabriel? You were never like this."
'Because you're toying with my feelings," he said softly. 'I'm hurting, Scarlett. Why can't you see that? I can't control how I feel about you. I just love you. Staying away from you and giving your ex a chance to come back into your life is killing me. I blame my mother for this, but still, I'm hurting. I don't even know what hurts more: forcing my love on you or watching you with him," he confessed, tears filling his eyes. It broke my heart.
A lump formed in my throat as I fought back my own tears. 'I never meant for any of this to happen, Gabriel. I never thought you would fall for me."
'Now that it has happened, you're still going to choose him, aren't you?" he asked. I tried to respond, but the words wouldn't come. 'It's okay. You don't have to say anything," he said, starting the car again. The rest of the ride was silent.
I felt confused and devastated. I hated that I was hurting Gabriel. Since I met him, he has done nothing but love and protect me, so why can't I just love him back? It's all because of Nathan. He's stuck in my heart even though I'm terrified of going back to him. I'm scared of reliving the torture I endured with Hernandez. What if Nathan betrays me again? Can I handle it?
'We're home," Gabriel announced as he parked in the garage.
'I'm sorry, Gabriel. I'm sorry for hurting you," I said, holding his hand. 'I want to love you, you know? I want my heart to beat for you, but it's just not happening. I don't want you to keep getting hurt over and over. Whatever decision you make after this, I'll understand."
'It's alright. I can handle it," he replied, stepping out of the car to open my door.
'Can I hug you?" I asked as I got out.
'You don't need to ask," he said with a sad smile, wrapping me in his arms.
'I'm sorry, okay?"
'It's fine," he murmured, stroking my hair.
We stood there, holding each other for a long time. Gabriel feels like home, but I keep choosing hell. Why does the heart always have to be so foolish?
***
Gabriel took me to church on Sunday; that was the surprise. I don't remember the last time I was in church. I used to be so devout, but now I feel defiled.
'Tell God everything you want, and He will surely answer your prayers," Gabriel said after the service.
'Can I go to the altar?" I asked.
'Of course, why not?" He held my hand as we walked to the altar, and we knelt to pray.
We left the church a few minutes later. 'How do you feel?" he asked as he drove.
'I feel truly relieved for the first time in a long while. It's like the darkness that has surrounded my world finally lifted. Thank you for bringing me back to God," I said, touching his hand.
'Anything for you," he smiled.
'By the way, I want to stop by Kate's place to get the keys to Nathan's house."
'What's Nathan's house key doing with Kate?" he asked, puzzled.
'Well, I kicked Nathan out and told the henchmen to give the key to Kate because I didn't want to wait around."
'What can't you do, Scarlett?" he teased, making me laugh.
Gabriel received a call on our way back from Kate's house. 'Yes… okay, I'll check it out," he said, then hung up.
'Is everything alright?" I asked.
'Let me check," he said, pulling over on the street. He fiddled with his phone for a few minutes. 'One of my men found the sniper who shot me. Here's a picture of him," he showed me his phone, and I gasped.
'Do you know him?" he asked.
'This is Jaguar. How could he have tried to kill me?" I said in disbelief.
'Do you know where he lives?"
'I'm not sure, but I have his number. We can trace him through that," I suggested. 'Something's not adding up. He was the same person who carried out an aborted plan before."
'You're not his only boss."
'You're right," I agreed, putting his phone back in the dashboard mount as he resumed driving.
'By the way, I want to hear you and Nathan's story when we get to your house," he said.
'What story?" I asked, confused.
'The story of how two hot-headed people fell in love."
'You're joking, right?" I chuckled.
'I'm serious. I want to hear everything," he glanced at me.
'You're ridiculous," I shook my head, smiling. I've never told anyone the full story of my love affair with Nathan. Why is Gabriel suddenly interested?
