Chapter 11
2477words
“Why are you sitting on your ass, playing my guitar, when you should be working?!”
Yannick stared at him. He probably didn’t understand half of those words. “Why what?”
“Why. Are. You. Not. Working?” Barry spoke obnoxiously slow, and unnecessarily loud. “Why. Are. You. Making. My. Wife. Work?”
Yannick took a few seconds to respond. “Your wife is bored. She say, I play good guitar.”
Barry whipped towards Stellaluna. “Care to explain?”
“I was bored. Yannick was cleaning-”
“Yannick?”
“The servant.” Stellaluna corrected herself. “The servant was cleaning the guitar. I asked him if he knew how to play. He said he did. I asked him to show me. I thought it sounded nice, so I asked him to keep playing.”
“Why were you cleaning for him?”
“Because I’m bored. I want something to do!”
“Now, darling, there’s plenty to do. Why not watch a movie? We have thousands of them!”
“Are there any that weren’t created by AI?”
Barry laughed. “Of course not. What, you think humans still create movies?”
“I’ve heard rumors of them.”
“You don’t need to watch human-made films. Why, you’d be bored watching them.”
“Regardless, I’m not in the mood for a movie. I’m in the mood to clean while listening to a servant play guitar.”
“Nonsense. You know, some women would kill to be in your position. Never having to lift a finger to do anything. You’re lucky.”
Stellaluna was once one of those women. If she knew what she was getting herself into, she would have pushed back against marrying Barry. “I don’t feel lucky.”
Barry groaned. He tapped at his watch, and pressed it to Stellaluna’s. “There. 10,000 ameros to go shopping with. Feel lucky now?”
She absolutely did not. There wasn’t a thing she needed to buy. And the only thing she wanted, was a divorce. Too bad that was illegal.
“Go on. Maybe Bailey can even go with you.”
“Zailey,” Stellaluna corrected him on her best friend’s name. But he had moved on to yelling at Yannick to get back to work. With a sigh, she left the room.
Stellaluna found herself wandering into a room filled with bookshelves filled with books. Their private library.
And Stellaluna had never read a single one.
She wandered over to the nearest shelf, and pulled out a thick book with purple binding. The letters on the cover were a shiny, gold color. It had a picture of a dark forest, with twisted trees. Frightening, yet intriguing. She opened the book at random, and stared at all the lines and marks. All of it meaningless.
What was it like, to know how to read?
The woman servant from earlier walked by with a rag. Stellaluna stopped her.
“Do you know how to read?” Stellaluna asked.
“No. My parents thought it would be better to home school me. But they only taught me how to be a good wife.”
It sounded similar to Stellaluna’s childhood. Amazing how two people from different social classes could have such a shared experience. “How’s that going for you?”
The servant chuckled. “I’m working here, aren’t I?”
“That you are.” Stellaluna returned her smile. “You know, I see you around a lot but I don’t even know your name. What is it?”
“Oh. Um, Jessie.”
“Lovely name. Where are you from?”
“Here." Jessie studied her. "Do you need help with something?”
“No. I just wanted to make polite conversation.” At the corner of her eye, she spotted Barry approaching. She straightened, and raised her voice. “And make sure to clean the bathroom when you’re done.”
Jessie noticed Barry as well. She did a sort of bow, and scurried away.
“I thought you were going shopping with Zailey.” Barry’s eyes landed on the book in Stellaluna’s hands. “What are you doing with that?”
“I want to know what it’s about.”
Barry snatched it from her.”You don’t need to know anything about this book. It is much too frightening for a lady.”
Stellaluna watched him put it back. “Can you at least tell me the title?”
“Why would you want to know that?”
“I’m curious.”
“A curious woman is a dangerous woman.” Barry waved her aside. “Go spend the money I gave you like a normal girl.”
Teeth gritted, Stellaluna left the library.
Jake followed Axel to a black van. Axel rolled open the side door, and gestured Jake inside. Once they were both in, Axel closed the door, and flicked on an interior light in the ceiling. It lit up the otherwise dark van.
A black curtain blocked Jake’s view of the front seat area. There was a messy bed with a couple of blankets near the back. A laundry bag on top of a cooler was at the foot of it, and several bags were scattered around.
Axel apologized for the mess, and cracked open a window. “You can sit down.”
Jake sat on the bed. After kicking off his shoes and tossing aside his jacket, Axel flopped on the bed next to him. “I know it’s not much.”
“It’s fine.” Jake pulled off his own shoes and coat. “I bet you’re saving loads on rent.” His eyes roamed Axel's body, admiring the way his thin t-shirt clung to his body. “Has anyone ever told you how hot you are?”
“A lot of girls have, but I turned them all down.” Axel took in Jake. “You’re… uhh… hot yourself.”
Jake laughed, and put his hand on Axel's shoulder. Axel's body tensed, then relaxed. He put both hands on Jake's shoulders, and gazed into his eyes. Jake waited for a sign from Axel as to what he wanted next.
After a moment of nothing, Axel finally spoke. “You’ve got pretty eyes.”
“You too.” It looked like Jake would have to initiate. He leaned forward, and kissed his lips.
Axel kissed right back. Jake slipped his tongue in, and let out a moan as Axel did the same. It had been months since he’d done anything with anyone. He needed this badly.
Without breaking the kiss, Jake pushed Axel down onto his back, and slipped his hand up his shirt, feeling his firm chest. And firm something else below the belt. Jake rubbed his own against it, then broke the kiss. “Shit.”
“This feels good, that’s what.” Jake whipped off his shirt. Axel stared at his bare chest, then angled his body so Jake could remove his too.
The two resumed making out while their hands roamed each other's bodies. Jake's hand slid down south, to the button of Axel’s jeans. Axel froze.
Jake pulled away. “Something wrong?”
“I’m, um... it’s only the first date.”
Jake failed to see the problem. He’d had plenty of first dates end with sex. “Okay?”
“Everything we’re doing, actually. I mean, I’m enjoying it. But, Christ. We’ve known each other for how long? And we’re already half-naked in my bed, grinding it out?”
“Do you want to stop?”
“Not what we were doing.” Axel sighed. “It’s been years.”
“Years?” And here Jake was, going crazy after a few months.
“I haven’t had very many options. I’ve only been with one man.”
“Oh.” Jake couldn’t count how many people he’d slept with, and wasn't sure how to respond.
“You don’t mind, do you? Waiting before taking this further?”
“I'd think you’d be dying for it, going years without sex.”
“Sex?” Axel tore his gaze away from Jake. “I’m kind of sort of still a... virgin.”
Jake stared at him. Someone as sexy as Axel, a virgin? Not that virginity meant much to Jake and everyone else in the ESA, but most people he knew had their first time in their teens. “You’re 24.”
“I know.” Axel sounded as though he were bothered by the fact, which confused Jake further. He would think he’d want it now if he was. “It’s too much too soon. This is almost the farthest I’ve gone.”
“That’s fine. I can wait.” It would be hard, but Jake didn’t have many options either. Besides, he liked Axel. “I don’t want to force you to do anything you don’t want.”
Axel's muscles loosened beneath Jake. “Good. That’s good. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Jake kissed his forehead. “If it makes you feel any better, you’re really good at this. I never would have guessed.”
Axel smiled, and they resumed kissing. But Axel soon pulled away. “If you don’t mind me asking, how many men have you been with?”
If he knew that answer, he’d be self-conscious for the entirety of their relationship. Also, Jake had a feeling this backwards town frowned upon casual sex. Axel might lean towards those views. “A few.”
“How many is ‘a few?’”
“You know… a few.”
“More or less than four?”
“More,” Jake mumbled.
“More than four!” Axel bolted upright, nearly knocking Jake over. “You’re only 20, and you’ve been with more than four men?”
“Four at 20 isn’t that many. That’s one per year, if you start at 16.”
“You lost your virginity at 16?”
Jake was actually 14. But that was with a girl. “My first time with a guy was at 16, yeah.”
Axel furrowed his brow, studying Jake’s face. “Are you implying that you’ve been with a girl at an even younger age?”
“I’m pansexual. I like all genders.”
Axel scooted away from Jake. “I can’t believe this. Were you at least using protection?”
“Of course! And I’m vaccinated against some of those diseases.”
“You’re vaccinated?” Axel's scrunched eyebrows rose. “Weren’t you worried?”
“About what…” Jake closed his eyes. Right. People here thought vaccines caused all sorts of side effects and illnesses. He wanted to be mad at Axel. To tell him how ridiculous he was for believing those myths. But he managed to hold that much back. “Everyone in California has to get vaccinated for everything there is to be vaccinated for. I’ve never met anyone who experienced major side effects from any of them.”
“Nobody. They’re safer than you think.”
“Okay.” Axel sounded doubtful as he grabbed his shirt.
“And I’m safe because of them.” Jake watched him put his shirt back on with a sinking heart. “You’re not mad at me, are you?”
“I’m not mad at you. It’s just… I feel like we’re from different worlds. How the hell can this work out?”
“We’ll find a way.” Jake took Axel’s hand, expecting him to pull away.
Surprisingly he didn’t. Instead, he let out a sigh of defeat. “Maybe. We'll see.”
Stellaluna found herself wandering the shops downtown alone. Unfortunately, Zailey was on a family outing with her husband and son. What’s that like? Stellaluna wondered. An outing with a husband and child? Oh, why did she have to be infertile!
She walked past a bookstore. Not that she could read the store signs, but she could see shelves upon shelves of books through the windows. All her years living in Gilran, and she never stepped foot inside it. So she did. The scent of fresh parchment greeted her.
There were about as many books in the store as there were in Barry’s private library. Each shelf had a sign above it. Off towards the back of the room, Stellaluna spotted childish artwork surrounding more signage. She wandered over to find thin books, with colorful pictures of animals. One had a gray cat on the cover. She picked it up, and opened it.
There weren’t very many words on each page, but they were large. Surrounding the words were illustrations of a gray cat doing various tasks. Stellaluna guessed the words described what the cat was doing. Too bad she still couldn’t figure out what any of the words said, or where one word started and one word ended.
“Need help with something?” an employee stopped to ask.
Only how to read. “No. Just browsing.”
The employee left. Stellaluna continued searching through the children’s books. She might not be able to read any of them, but at least she could get a vague idea of what these books were about. She thumbed through one featuring a caterpillar and images of bitten-in fruit. Clearly about a very hungry caterpillar. She put it back.
There was a smaller book, with thick, cardboard-like pages, and only a few letters on them. One word? Next to each word, was a picture of an object. She stopped at a picture of a dog, catching a basic circle between two markings. It probably says dog.
Dog was a short and simple word, and these markings looked that way too. She traced the first mark with her finger. It was like a circle with a flat side. And the marking at the end was a circle with a curved line. So many circles.
The next page had a picture of a fox, and also had a circle between two markings made up of lines. “Fox,” Stellaluna said under her breath. She went to the previous page. “Dog.” “Fo-ox. Do-og.” The circle probably represented that middle sound.
Her heart pounded with excitement. Was it possible to teach herself how to read? She flipped through more pages but no other epiphanies hit. No. Someone would have to teach her, which required going to Barry. Barry would never agree to it. She’d ask Zailey for help, but she was just as illiterate.
Stellaluna turned to put the books away, but caught sight of a large book with a chalkboard and an apple on the cover. The chalkboard had several letters on it, but it didn’t look like it was part of the title. She picked it up, and opened it.
The beginning pages had big, bold letters imprinted in between two horizontal lines. Below each letter, was a horizontal line with the letter repeated, but broken into a series of dots. Maybe for tracing over? And below that, were horizontal lines with no letters of any sort. Stellaluna ran her finger over a large triangle with what looked like stick-figure legs. Was this some sort of letter-writing practice book?
It wasn’t as though it would teach her to read. But maybe it would help her make sense of the strange markings she often came across.
Barry had given her money. Had ordered her to shop. He never would approve of her buying books, but he also never paid attention to the things she’d buy. Never paid attention to where the money in her bank account went. He checked the amount every so often, and deposited a certain amount each month depending on her needs. Most months he didn’t deposit anything.
Stellaluna stared at the three books in her hands. The cat book, the one-word book, and the workbook. Before she could change her mind, she headed for the registers. It wouldn’t hurt to buy them. She’d just have to hide them from Barry.
