Chapter 8
2480words
Before the silence had a chance to get awkward, Sebastian spoke up. “I used to hang out with friends here, back in high school. We only actually golfed a few times. Mostly we sat in the food court, throwing cheese fries at each other while talking about hot girls.”
“Fun,” Axel said. “My parents took me here a couple times when I was a kid. And I came here on a field trip in middle school. Some fun end of the year party thing.”
There wasn’t a middle school in Gilran. Just one K-8 school, and one high school. Sebastian had never seen Axel at either. “You didn’t go to school here, did you?”
“No. I’m actually from Redding. I moved here a few years ago.”
Redding was the nearest city to Gilran. “So you’re more of a city boy.”
“I was. Not so much anymore.”
The teens left. Axel and Sebastian walked up to the register. They paid for two people. In exchange, they got two golf clubs and a few golf balls.
“I ended up over here after my parents kicked me out,” Axel continued. “I wanted to be a mechanic, and Ralph was the only person willing to hire me. Because… you know.”
He must be referring to be blacklisted for “homosexual behavior.” But there would have had to be evidence for it, taken to the police or a judge. Either photos, videos, or four witnesses. “Four people saw you? Or was there a video?”
Axel shook his head. “Marley’s parents found our texts on his phone, and took it to court. They were mad because they thought I corrupted their son. That was their way of getting back at me. Ruining my life. Like ruining their son’s life wasn’t enough, I guess.”
Before Sebastian could come up with a sympathetic response, they arrived at the first hole. “You can go first,” Axel said.
Sebastian set the ball in the tiny hole in the lane. It was a basic starting course. He hit the ball but it only made it halfway to the hole.
“Not bad.” Axel took his turn. He swung much harder than Sebastian. The ball zipped past Sebastian’s, past the target hole, hit a wall, and rolled back towards Axel.
Sebastian held back a laugh. “You’re supposed to get it in the hole, not back to us.”
Axel rolled his eyes but smiled. Sebastian walked over to his ball, and got it in the hole.
It took Axel a few more, much lighter, hits before his went in. They moved onto the second hole. It had more angles than the first, and took both of them a few tries.
The rest of their time golfing went much the same. The courses grew more complicated while they shared their childhood experiences.
“I’m surprised the mayor’s son didn’t go to private school,” Axel said at the fifth hole.
“He didn’t become mayor until I was in high school,” Sebastian reminded him. “Besides, the nearest private school is a half hour away without traffic.”
“Fair enough.” As always, Axel whacked the ball much harder than necessary. It flew a couple inches off the ground, bounced off the side of a tiny bridge, and landed straight into the hole. Axel grinned. “Hole in one! I beat you, for once.”
That grin... Sebastian's chest ached as fantasies of holding him, being with him, overcame him. He shrugged off the intrusive thoughts. “I didn’t know we were keeping score.”
“I mean, obviously you’re winning,” Axel said, as they walked over to the sixth. It resembled a tiny village. “It feels like I’m holding us up at every course, trying to get it in.”
“That’s because you’re hitting it too hard.” Sebastian put his ball down, and held the end of the club a few inches behind the ball. “You only need to start the swing from around here. Not all the way behind you. It’s mini-golf. Not professional.” Sebastian hit his ball, watching it zigzag between small houses. It stopped a few inches away from the goal. “You try.”
Axel copied Sebastian’s move, but this time, he hit it too gently. It only rolled a few inches.
God, he was bad at this. It was like he needed someone to move his arms for him, so he could get the actual feel for it. Someone like... Sebastian himself? It was too bold. Too daring. But Sebastian longed to put his hands on Axel. It was a miracle he wasn't the one performing badly.
I don't like men, and I don't like Axel like that, Sebastian reminded himself. He walked over to hit his ball into the hole, then watched Axel position his club. That lucky club...
"Is here good?" Axel had his club too far back.
Axel moved the club too close. The urge to walk over and correct Axel with his own hands struck him again.
It doesn't have to mean anything... Before he could stop himself, the question slipped out. "Need me to assist you?"
Too late to back out now. Sebastian came up behind Axel, and placed his arms and hands over his. He moved the club to the right spot, and swung with the proper amount of force. The ball rolled into the hole.
“Did that help?” Sebastian asked, arms still on Axel’s, feeling high on dopamine.
“A bit.” The corner of Axel’s mouth twitched. “You can let go of me now.”
Sebastian complied with a feeling of deep shame. What the hell was he thinking? “Sorry.”
“No worries. I know I’m fun to cuddle.”
Axel only improved slightly after that, while Sebastian’s skills took a downturn. He couldn't stop thinking about what he had done, and the feelings it gave him. So much joy, followed by so much shame.
After the tenth and final hole, the two turned in their equipment. They headed for the food court for lunch, and settled for hot dogs and fries. Axel got a slushie with his. There were picnic tables outside. Sebastian picked one, and they sat across from each other.
“I haven’t had one of these since last time I was here, probably.” Axel took a sip of the slushie.
“I don’t think I’ve ever had one.”
“What! You’ve never had a slushie?” Axel covered his mouth in exaggerated surprise. He held the drink towards him. “Wanna try a sip?”
“With the same straw?” Sebastian had a lot of complicated feelings about that, and he didn’t have the energy to unpack them.
“If it bothers you, grab another straw. I don’t care.”
Not wanting to spend the rest of the afternoon with more conflicting emotions, Sebastian opted for grabbing his own straw. He tried a sip. It reminded him of amusement parks and zoos. “Not bad.”
“Right? You can keep helping yourself to it, since you forgot to order your own drink.”
Sebastian had meant to order himself a lemonade, but was too deep in his thoughts to remember. “I knew I was forgetting something.” He took a bite of his juicy hot dog, noticing Axel had also ordered cheese fries. “You got cheese fries.”
“Yep. So we can throw them at each other and talk about hot girls.” Axel winked.
For that, Sebastian picked up a fry, and threw it at him. Axel caught it, and popped it in his mouth. “How hot were the girls you harassed?”
“Not very.” Not to Sebastian, anyway.
They ate in a comfortable silence. Towards the end of their meal, Sebastian leaned forward to take a sip of the slushie at the same time as Axel. Sebastian pulled his mouth away from the straw, feeling warm. Right as a group of three young men walked past them.
“Holy shit. Sebastian?”
Sebastian slowly looked up to see a familiar face. It took him a few seconds to recall the name. Berkley. He had been part of his friend group in high school. Back when Sebastian actually had friends. Berkley, like everyone else, dropped contact with him after that incident. In fact… Sebastian eyed the rest of the group. They were all his former friends. Berkley, Tony, and Matt. Had Sebastian not been caught kissing a boy, would he be hanging out with them right now?
“Are you two on a date?” Tony asked.
“They must be, sharing that drink.” Matt smirked at them.
Sebastian crossed his arms on the table. “We’re a little old for this.”
“Lighten up, we’re only teasing.” Tony sat next to Axel and helped himself to the last cheese fries. Matt and Berkley squeezed in on each side of Sebastian.
Sebastian narrowed his eyes. “What are you doing?”
“Catching up,” Berkley said. “I haven’t heard from you since you went off to camp. How was it?”
Sebastian struggled to keep his suppressed memories from coming to surface. “Okay, I guess.”
“Did they do that electric shock lobotomy stuff?” Matt asked.
“Moron.” Berkley punched Matt in the shoulder. “They haven’t done that shit since the 1700’s. Nowadays they put wires on their junk and shock them while they watch gay porn.”
Matt returned the punch. “That’s what I said!”
“No. You were talking about lobotomies. Those are different.”
Tony jumped in. “I heard they pump them full of drugs and tell them they’re a bunch of sick freaks who'll burn in hell.”
Sebastian squeezed his eyes shut, trying to push down his memories of the shock treatment. Of the counselors forcing pills down his throat. Of the lectures about how he was an abomination against God.
“We could have saved his parents the money and told him that for free,” Berkley said to Tony.
“That’s enough!”
Sebastian opened his eyes, and saw Axel glowering at the group.
“What Sebastian went through isn’t funny. It was cruelty. I would think his friends would show more sympathy.”
“Relax,” Berkley said. “We’re only asking. How can we be sympathetic if we don’t know what he went through?”
“It probably wasn’t even bad. Camping is fun.” Tony smiled at Sebastian. “What was your favorite part of camp?”
Sebastian's eyes watered as he struggled to suppress those horrific memories. The memories he had buried so long ago.
“We have to go.” Axel’s voice was harsh. His eyes darted to Sebastian as he gathered up his trash. Sebastian did the same, and followed Axel out the door.
“But we have so much to catch up on,” Berkley called after them.
Luke convinced Skye to put on the least annoying dress she owned with the promise of never having to wear any of them again, followed by the promise of buying her candy. “As long as you’re good,” Luke had said.
They walked into the clothing store. The lighting was just as annoying as the lights in his kitchen. Equally annoying was how he seemed to be the only person in the world who felt that way about bright lights. He turned his backwards cap forward, and tugged it down to block out some of the light. Much better. He took his daughter’s hand in his and led her towards the little girl’s section.
There were racks upon racks of dresses. Different colors, materials, shapes, and sizes. There were bound to be a few Skye would be comfortable in. He let go of her hand. “Okay, go pick out some.”
She didn’t say anything. Not that Luke expected her to. But she didn’t move either. Luke looked down and noticed she had her hand over her face, covering her eyes.
“Skye?” Luke squatted to her level, and noticed tears. At least she was quiet about it. The last thing Luke wanted was a scene. “What’s wrong?”
“What hurts?”
She didn’t answer. Luke sighed. “If you’re not going to tell me, then at least hurry up and pick something out so we can go home soon. Then I can give you medicine that’ll make the pain go away.” Were children allowed pain medicine? Luke hadn’t thought of that.
Skye remained standing with her head down, hand over her eyes.
“You’re not going to find a dress doing that.” Luke pulled her hand away from her eyes. She shrieked, drawing the attention of a woman several feet away.
The woman scowled at Luke. “What are you doing?”
“Taking my daughter dress shopping.”
“That’s your daughter?”
The daughter in question had her hand covering her eyes again, tears running down her cheeks.
“Little girl, do you know this man?” The woman actually had the nerve to ask.
Skye let out a sob, and ran. Luke chased after her. “Skye!”
That caught the attention and dirty looks of several more women. One reached out and grabbed Skye by the arm as she ran past. Luke caught up and thanked the woman. “Sorry about that. I don’t know what’s gotten into her.”
The woman ignored him, and asked Skye, “Where’s your mommy?”
Luke flinched. “She’s dead.”
“What?” The woman looked up at Luke.
“Her mom’s dead. I’m her dad. I’m just trying to buy her new clothes.”
“Oh?” The woman looked down at Skye, who still had her face covered. “Is this true?”
Skye managed a nod.
“She’s really shy,” Luke said. He took Skye’s hand in his. The hand that wasn’t covering her face. “Come on. Let’s go back to the dresses.”
They hadn’t strayed too far from them. Luke looked down at Skye. “You need to stop covering your face. How do you expect to pick out a dress if you can’t see them?”
Silence. Luke suppressed a groan. “Can you at least tell me why you won’t stop doing that?”
“It hurts if I don’t.”
“It hurts if you…” Luke dared to look up at the lights. The cursed lights that only ever seemed to bother him. “The lights bug you too?”
“Maybe?” Her voice was uncertain, as though she had never thought about what was causing her pain. Only that she was in pain, and covering her face eased it.
Luke fingered the brim of his hat. It would suck, but he figured he could survive the discomfort for a half hour. He took off his hat, and put it on Skye. “Is that better?”
Finally, Skye removed her hand from her face. The over-sized hat did most of the covering for her. She blinked a few times, then smiled. “Yeah!”
“Good.” Luke squinted. “Now hurry up and pick something out.”
As Luke watched her run up to a plain, green dress, he reflected on her episode in the kitchen the previous night. That damn light probably caused it. He couldn’t wait to gloat to his father that he wasn’t the only person bothered by it. Maybe now he’d consider changing the bulbs out for something a little dimmer.
