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I picked up the pillow and still had a smile on my face,"Mom,what are you doing?Aren't you happy that I came to see you?"
"You heartless thing!Did you really come to see me?"My mother didn't care about others at all and shouted at me.
"If I didn't come to see you,who would pay the medical bills you owe?"
I pretended to wipe away my tears,"Although you gave all the demolition compensation money to my younger sister and all the three houses to my elder sister.But you are still my mother.How could I ignore you?"
The people in the next bed heard what I said and immediately put away their contemptuous looks,as if they suddenly understood.
My mother felt a bit embarrassed.When she heard that I had already paid her fees,her expression softened a bit and she asked me to peel the oranges for her,thinking she was giving me a chance to smooth things over.
I didn't appreciate it and continued to add fuel to the fire,stabbing at her heart.
I took out a luxurious travel package ticket and handed it to my father,saying it was a reward from the company and the trip was in the next couple of days.If we didn't go,it would be a waste.
My father was excited but also worried that my mother would have no one to take care of her.I immediately took my mother's phone and called my elder sister and younger sister.
As expected,my elder sister exploded when she heard it.
Her temper and personality were becoming more and more like my mother's.She opened her mouth and said I had no good intentions.
She asked what I was up to by sending my father away at this time.
"Of course,I want to give you a chance to show your filial piety,"I replied straightforwardly.
My younger sister was even more direct—she was busy and wouldn't come.She said that my elder sister was the eldest and should take care of the elders and give in to the younger ones.
My mother was so aggrieved by my series of actions that she burst into tears.
She must still remember the way my elder sister and younger sister flattered her when she held the money in her hand.
At that time,the two of them were afraid that my mother would be alone with either of them and were competing to take care of her.
She still couldn't stand me now,but she was reluctant to drive me away like she did when I was a child.
What my mother couldn't stand even more was that my father treated me well.
It was said that a daughter was her father's lover in a past life.
In my mother's eyes,I was just like the mistress from a past life.
In order to make it convenient for us to go to school,my parents rented a house in the city,and I was the first one to benefit from it.
The cheapest box meal is priced at one dollar and five cents,with three vegetarian dishes.
My mother gave me three dollars every day and told me not to have breakfast.
It was just enough for lunch and dinner.I asked her for thirty cents to buy hot water,and she asked me in disbelief why I couldn't even save thirty cents.
However,she took me to ask about the prices around us one by one!She knew exactly how much food each store offered and how much it cost.
I came up with a good idea.
I would buy a two-dollars meal at noon,eat half of it,and then eat the remaining half with hot water at night.
It was okay in winter,but in summer,the rice would go bad after being left for a long time.
I could only soak it in boiling water several times and still eat it.At that time,I was only eleven years old.
Once,my father came to the city on business and stopped by to see me.When he saw me eating rice soaked in boiling water without any dishes,he couldn't help but ask.
I didn't say anything,but he squatted beside me and kept asking,so gently.I couldn't control my grievances for a moment,and my tears dropped into the rice.
My father had a big fight with my mother when he got home.My mother held it in until I went home on Friday to lose her temper.
No matter how hard I tried to explain that I didn't tell my father about it,she didn't believe me.
She pinched my arm,crying and shouting,recounting how hard she had worked to raise the three of us over the years.
She said I was two-faced and that acting coquettishly in front of my father was being slutty.
She said that since I came back to this home,my elder sister and younger sister had lost their father.
Then,seeing that my father didn't fall for this,she banged on the door and slapped herself in the face,swearing that she would never care about me again and forcing me to kneel and kowtow to apologize in front of the disdainful and mocking eyes of my elder sister and younger sister.
My father gave in,and the matter was left unresolved.I cried so hard that I almost fainted.Since then,I didn't dare to get close to my father anymore.
That incident made my mother stay on the high ground of victory for a long time,and she found a better way to control me.
Once my father was a bit nicer to me,my mother would deliberately leave me behind when she went shopping on the street and take my elder sister and younger sister to buy new clothes and snacks.
When I looked at them longingly,she would be proud and tell me to ask my father for it.
She clearly knew that my father was busy with work during the day and had no time to care about my food and clothing at all.
This trick worked on me very well.Every time my mother did this,I would carefully try to please her.
When I came home from school every day,I would rush to wash the dishes and help her with the farm work.
On weekends,I would silently wash all the clothes piled up by the whole family,including the underwear and panties left in the basin.
My mother was very happy with my obedience,but as long as I disobeyed her with just one word,all my efforts would be in vain,and everything would go back to square one.
When my elder sister started junior high school,she lived with me.My mother would pick her up every night,and they were as close as sisters.I could hear their laughter from afar.
When I was alone in the rented house,I would either stare at the wall in a daze or be woken up when I fell asleep.
Then I would fetch hot water for them to wash their faces and feet and carry the chamber pot through the alley in the dark.
My sleeping position changed from being next to my mother,to at the end of their bed,and finally to a makeshift bed made of a broken door panel on the floor.
What kind of child did my mother like?When I imitated my elder sister's gentle tone,my mother said I was sly deep down.
When I imitated my younger sister's straightforward way,my mother said I was selfish and didn't care about others'feelings.
That's how I grew up,piecing myself together and feeling at a loss.
