Chapter 61
1530words
I met Axel on the porch once again and felt a bit of déjà vu at the sight of him there. We hadn't spoken since our last encounter two days ago.
It wasn't that we saw each other and chose to ignore each other. It was more like we just never crossed paths. I left too early for work and came home when he was probably out or in his bedroom, and neither of us made an effort.
"why does this feel like déjà vu?" he said when I got to the top of the porch and I smiled,
"I was actually just thinking the very same thing."
"good that we agree on one thing."
I would have rolled my eyes at that. But I didn't think that would be very peaceful of me. So instead. I sighed and sat across from him, my gaze away from him and over at the fields.
"Why can't you see that I'm only trying to protect you?"
I pressed my lips together and looked back at him.
"I do see that." o said softly, "I truly do. But I need you to understand that I would have never agreed to any of this if for a month I felt that I would only cry in the end."
"so you don't feel that he is capable of hurting you again?"
"I don't think I'm going to give him the room to hurt me once again. But even then, Axel. Even then, I can't pretend I don't feel anything."
"you loved him sincerely for five years. Of course, you feel something. I'd be in shock if you suddenly did not. But that doesn't mean you have to let him in again."
"I'm not letting him in."
"you're giving him a chance for friendship. That's the way it all starts. And it's never end as just friendship, because you still love him."
I looked away from him because his words were too true, too real, and they hit home.
"I'm not going to cry again," I said fiercely. More to myself, than to him, but replied.
"Then let me. Let me put him in his place." but I shook my head,
"I'm not going to cry again," I repeated. But I can't let you hurt him. Because you're right, I do love him. And it's because I love him still, that's why I'm giving him a second chance. But I need you to trust me."
"I do trust you. It's that son of a flying gunner that I don't trust." I smile a little, knowing that a bridge has been made.
"I know. So how about we compromise."
He rose a brow, before shrugging, "I don't care much for compromising your happiness, but let's hear it."
"he has, until the end of our project to change my mind. Until the end of our project to get on my good side, and prove that he's really sorry."
"And then?"
"and then, if he doesn't. if I can't feel the love he is so hell-bent on claiming he feels, then he has to sign the papers."
"and if he should succeed?"
I paused, knowing he wasn't going to like this one,
"Then, we will give each other a chance."
He sighed and shook his head, "I'm a gunner."
I chuckled, and shook my head, "No. brother, I believe, I am."
I decided that if I wanted my life to stay on the fine path it had been on lately, then I had no business, forsaking the methods that helped me heal at least, not all of them. So I called William, to hang out the same we had. Just like old times. Honestly, I felt terrible about the way things had become between us lately,
"Hello, stranger." I smiled at the way he greeted me. It was nice, you know? Having something that was the same, normal. A stable in one's life,
"Hello, Alpha William. Could interest you in a day out, perhaps at an amusement park?"
"an amusement park?" he asked, sounding, well, amused.
"an amusement park. Yes. you, me, and a lot of ice cream and popcorn. Perhaps clowns as well."
He chuckled at that and the sound warmed. He might not be my lover. But he was my friend. Heaven knew I could really use a friend.
"it sounds like a good time. Sure, I'm in."
"great."
In an hour's time, I was ready, and he was at my gate.
"you look colorful," he said and I looked down at my purple shirt, and short yellow skirt.
"thank. I put it on just for you."
And he howled in laughter.
The amusement park really was amusing. I was in awe of the amount of rides that were available for us to embark on. Given the fact, that it had been ages since I visited a park, you can trust that the little girl in me wasted no time in rearing her pretty head.
I loved it. I loved how the little girl in me felt safe at William's side,
"popcorn? William asked, panting at a truck and I nodded happily,
"yes, definitely." I took his hand and sped to the place,
"slow down, the popcorn isn't going away," he called out, but I wasn't paying attention.
"two please," he said, out of breath when we got to the guy and I was laughing,
"big strong alpha like you, and you're out of breath from a little run."
"don’t start with me," he said, and paid for our popcorn, then handed me mine,
"Thanks," I said as we walked away, choosing a bench, instead of a ride,
"I'm really glad you called me," he said after some time, and I turned to look at him,
"I'm really glad I called you too. I feel like I've been a terrible friend lately."
"not a terrible one. Just a busy one." he said, and shrugged, "I can understand busy."
"But, can you perhaps, not understand, rekindling a friendship with the man that hurt me?" I asked, watching his every move, and watched how his concern showed through his calm expression
"I'm going to need you to be a little more clear, Ember."
I heaved out a sigh before setting my popcorn down, but he picked it up and put some in my mouth, so I chewed while I thought of the best way to explain,
"Paris and I, are putting our divorce on halt, while we complete this project."
He thought about that for a moment before nodding, "But why?"
"we will be working together and he believes it would be a whole lot easier if I wasn't shoving the divorce papers up his nose every now and then."
"what do you believe?"
"I… believe he has a point. So for that reason, I agreed to it. "
"I see. So we should begin chasing the divorce after the project is completed?"
I prayed to God for the best way to tell him this without breaking his heart and decided it was best to simply go for the truth,
"Well, the thing is, there's a clause. He asked that we should try and be friends. If we can successfully be friends by the end of the project, then perhaps he doesn't have to sign the papers. Perhaps we could try to be more. Again."
He was quiet. For so long, he was quiet, and I thought that I might have lost him, then he finally blew out a breath,
"for a moment there, I thought I had a chance,
"William…"
"No, it's fine. I understand. Or maybe I don't. perhaps I don't have to. Because this isn’t about me. In any case, I hope all things fall in place." he said and sighed again, before popping some popcorn in his mouth,
"I understand if you hate me."
He shook his head, "I don't. I guess a part of me always saw this coming." he said and ran his butter-free thumb against my cheek, " A part of me even feared it. But, you can't win when it comes to battles of the heart, now can you?" he said softly, and got up, "come on."
"Where to?" I asked rising, my heart torn in two,
"let's go on one of the rides. I reckon it should be fun."
I wanted to say more, but in the end just nodded., "Of course."
We were in line to pay for our tickets, my head and my heart bursting at the seams when I felt a tug and a pull.
I blinked in confusion, wondering if this was what dying from sadness felt like when I felt it again, and with an elated feeling from my wolf,
"is something the matter?" I asked my wolf, and she purred.
Purred?
"mate!" she said excitedly, and I turned to look at William, who simply smiled at me,
"William?" I asked out loud and his brows furrowed,
"no. mate!" she cried and I turned to see a man with shoulder-length hair walking our way. He was breathtaking and divine, and every part of me reacted to his presence.
"Oh." I breathed out, "mate."
