Chapter 78 SICKNESS AND LONELINESS
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Ann has been a great support in this difficult time, she takes care of me nicely, and she has even started to spend lots of her time with me. She is also worried for Andrew, I am not the only one in this mansion who is bothered by Andrew's absence but Ann is also living with a restless heart just like me but she is strong enough to not show her weak side to the world and that is the reason why I admire her so much.
Her abilities and her willpower of being contained in the most difficult and chaotic situations in her life are commendable.
Because of the hurricane, it's impossible to connect with the people in the city but still, Ann is trying to find a way to find Andrew's exact location. No one is able to get through Andrew's phone God knows how Ann was able to get him on the line that day.
RING… RING… RING…
I stay lazily in my bed even when I am wide awake I don't make any move to leave my bed, and the continuous phone ringing remains in the surroundings not bothering me at all. As expected after a while, the door opens and Miss Celine enters, "Miss Swan is waiting for you, please don't be stubborn."
She says and then starts to walk towards my wardrobe and then brings me a dress.
This has become the usual routine for me, I stay in bed all the time lazily, until Ann calls me over for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, yes Ann has started to have her lunch in the mansion with me.
Ann is trying her best to not let me feel lonely, but no one's presence can fill the empty space in my heart that belongs to my dear husband, Andrew.
If I was able to talk to him once, that would also be fine but, sigh, it seems like God is testing our love by keeping us both separate from each other.
I stand up reluctantly and then wear my dress, after freshening myself, I walk down and see Ann already sitting at the hostess seat without any trace of my husband's presence around her.
I greet Ann politely and then sit beside her, I don't dare to sit at the place where Andrew used to sit, his empty chair presses a thorn in my heart making me bleed and I flinch from the memory.
"It's fine, Tessa." I feel the warmth on my hand and look at Ann whose eyes are warm and filled with concern for me.
"Eat." She ordered and I pick my cutlery just to play with my food instead of eating it.
"Tessa, look at yourself… You are getting paler day by day. When Andrew will return he will get upset after seeing you like this. Dear, eat something and look after yourself." Ann says worriedly but all her words fall on my deaf ear.
I don't want to eat when I don't know if Andrew has eaten anything or not. I won't be at ease until I hear from Andrew, a call, a message, an email, anything would do but just contact me, Andrew, please.
My heart keeps pleading but I get nothing in response.
Sigh, I take a few bites, and then I am all done.
I walk back to my room but stop as I see the door of the music room slightly open.
I subconsciously walk inside the room as Andrew's memories start to flash in front of my eyes from the night when he played the piano for me, when he revealed his past, and when he talked about his mother to me.
Everything seems so vivid and clear, it feels like this happened just a while ago but not a few days ago.
I touch the cold surface of the piano and shiver from the touch, I then trace my fingers over the cool surface remembering the time when I had seduced him and we both had mind-blowing sex here.
I touch the spot where he had put me that day and closed my eyes, trying to feel his touch on me but nothing came. Feeling frustrated, I let out a yell and then collapse to the ground. I had never thought that one day I would be yearning for him that bad and that makes me realize how deeply I have fallen for him that the absence of his from my life would make me feel like an empty and broken person.
My love for him has increased daily and this separation between us seems to turn my feelings more stronger than before for him.
I cry my heart out in the music room and then collecting my miserable self I walk back to my room and crawl into my bed with one of Andrew's shirt, I snuggle in his shirt it calms me somehow and my silent pray stays remain for him to come back to me soon.
****
Two weeks have passed and I feel more terrible than before but somehow I am getting used to these feelings of being lonely. I feel like a corpse now, as nothing makes me happy or sad, every day I keep waiting to hear any news from Ann about my husband, Andrew but I get nothing.
I never knew that this prison is so much suffocating until I start to live in it without my husband, Andrew.
I don't know where he is, I don't know if he is doing fine, I don't know if he would come back to me?
****
"Argghhh…" I feel retch as soon as the fish was placed on the table, the smell makes me nauseous and I run towards the kitchen while covering my nose. I find the garbage bin and then start throwing up.
My stomach clench so tightly because of the pressure of heaving that It nearly sucks out the life inside of me. After I am done, I sit on the floor calming myself and gathering back my energy I walk back to the dining table where Ann has been waiting for me.
"Tessa dear, what happen?" Ann asks worriedly as I get closer to the table.
"The fish." I point at the fish and the strong feeling of retch comes again.
"Miss Celine, take away the fish, immediately." Ann order and after the fish has been taken away from the table, only then do I sit back at my place with ease.
"What's wrong, Tessa?" Ann asks and I shrug feeling confused.
"I don't know, Ann. It's just I am feeling very weak and the fish's smell it makes my stomach twist in an unpleasing way." I tell her and she looks at me for a second.
"Tessa... I had told you many times to take care of yourself, see you have made yourself sick." Ann concludes and I nod in agreement.
"Yeah, I also feel the same," I tell her lightly.
"So from today, you have to start eating properly and focus on yourself. Look at your face, you have got so bad dark circles, Are you not sleeping at night?" Ann questions, inspecting me.
Now, how am I supposed to tell her that without her brother's touch and his warm embrace I am finding it too much difficult to sleep on that cold bed.
"I do sleep at night... But it's just... It's not peaceful anymore." I tell her sadly and she gives me a sympathetic look.
"I can understand your difficulties, dear. I'll ask Miss Celine to give you a glass of warm milk to drink before you go to bed. It will help you to fall asleep." Ann says and I nod my head, there is no point in arguing on anything at all. Let Ann do what she thinks is best because I know deep inside that the glass of warm milk cannot eked out the warmth and relief I get from my husband, Andrew.
At night, Miss Celine brings me the glass of warm milk as instructed by Ann. I didn't want to drink it but still left with no choice I takes a few sips and feeling satisfied Miss Celine leave my room.
When I finish the half glass, I again feel the same retching feeling and then I violently throw up in the sink.
"Argghhh..." I sigh in frustration, my stomach hurts a lot and my mouth has suddenly turn bitter from this sudden puking.
I wonder if Andrew's absence has really made me sick that badly, so then what will happen to me if he won't return for more two week? Would I die then from the longing of my husband?
