Chapter 48
1347words
"Don't be, most nightmares are the ones we're living but we pray we're just asleep."
He chuckles again, am I that funny? "All right how about this? We could hang out tomorrow and you tell me about yourself and maybe this town, so I know what I'm in for." What the? Can he really not tell that I'm the last person to ask about this place? I don't go anywhere or do anything, wrong person guy. "Maybe it could be like a date" he smiles
"Uh" I almost said yes then he went and said that, "no thanks" "No?"
"Yeah no I don't do that but super weird of you to ask. I actually hear my conscience telling me to get away from you, so I gotta go but thanks for the muffin." I rush inside shutting and locking the door.
What the everlasting hell was that?
-
Walking downstairs the next morning I join my mom in the kitchen fresh out of bed, "morning honey" she greets as I rub my eyes walking in. "So I made breakfast and finished next week's lesson plan" she talks as I sit on the stool in front of my food, "I need your history paper by tomorrow, ok? And I'm gonna run to the store to get-"
"You know how I never do anything or go anywhere as a way to keep my interactions with others as minimal as possible?"
"Thanks for cutting me off, and yes I know you're weird, where are you going with this?" "Our new neighbor asked me out yesterday."
She gasps "what? She did?"
"That's the weird part it was a he"
She looks at me confused "really?" I nod "and he's gay?" "Maybe, I don't know"
"Are you gay? Is this you coming out?" "Coming out of what mom?" I asked confused "The closet, Devin"
"You want me to go in that closet and come out of it?" I point to the coat closet in the hall
"Oh my god no you dip! Forget it, so he thinks you're gay?"
"I guess but it was random and I mean what kind of person just shows up to your house with a random ass muffin, which I will admit was
delicious and just asks you out after saying like three sentences to each other?" I look at her "why are you smiling?"
"Because this is what I've always wanted!" She walks to me grabbing my face "actual teenage dilemma and none of that obsessive death talk." I pull my head away "so where are you guys going?"
"Nowhere, I said no" "What? Why?"
Staring at her with a serious look "have we met? Like, have we actually sat down and had a real conversation? Do you want me to take that out of this house?"
"I guess not" "Exactly"
"But what if you kept your weirdness here and actually went out and had a great time? For the sake of me not being your only friend"
"We're not friends Darcy our relationship is strictly obligational, I didn't ask to be here nor do I force you to keep me here."
"We all make mistakes" she shakes her head walking away, "this could be a good thing, even if you're not gay maybe this guy could be a friend, don't you want a friend?"
"I have many friends"
"The voices in your head don't count" she smiles getting her car keys and bag, "anyway I'm just saying maybe this could be a good thing, who knows?"
I know and I know it's a horrible thing, who would actually want to sit down and talk to a person they barely know? I mean what would be the outcome of that? This is how people become sheep, they conform to a herd and just follow the masses. I am no sheep, ok? I'm a freethinking
individual who should probably... make a friend and stop calling everyone a sheep. Oh god now she's in my head. Nothing like being left alone with Darcy's wisdom to make you rethink decisions that made perfect sense when you were making them.
Now, if I was bold enough I'd walk over next door, knock on their door and ask Ryan to- what? I don't even know where to go from there.
Does he like board games because my mom and I have a ton of those.
As I'm sitting there daydreaming about what being bold would be like, I hear a car pull up. Walking to the window I hold the curtain to watch as Ryan gets out of his car. Walking around the car to head to his door he turns and looks right at me, "crap!" I quickly let the curtain go "can't even spy on people properly"
Getting away from the window I pray he didn't see me, but that prayer clearly didn't make it to the big guy, because the next thing I know I hear a knock on the door. Stopping I stay very still, maybe he'll think he just saw a ghost staring and leave. "I know you're there," Ryan says knocking again.
Walking to the door I open it only a little, he smiles "hi" yeah hi, what do you want? "I'm sorry I freaked you out yesterday, I'm told I can be too forward sometimes, such leo behavior. But you don't have to worry about it I'm fully capable of getting to know the town on my own."
He finally stops, we stare at each other and I can tell he's waiting for me to say something, but what would I even say? "Okay well thanks for letting me apologize" he turns walking away
This is your chance, Devin! What would Darcy say? "Are you gay?" I ask before he hits the last step
Turning back he stands on the steps "bisexual actually" Ryan answers, "are you?" I shake my head "at least I don't think I am."
"I'm pretty sure you'd know if you were or not."
"You'd be surprised by the amount of things I don't know," I don't know why I meant for that to sound like a brag, it sounded just sad.
Ryan laughs "all right."
He just stands there and every time I go to shut the door to end this I just hear my mom's voice in my head, and no not as a friend she's actually my worst enemy in there. "Do you ever want to die?" God that whole thinking before you speak thing really doesn't work, does it?
He scoffs "what?"
"My mom says that I need to make a friend, and I read this article online that said that the best way to make friends is if you share common interests. Mine are board games, old western movies, and being at peace with death." I watch him take in every word I say, a little confused but still willing to listen. "What about you?"
"Oh um," he thinks "music, soccer, and cheese." "Cheese?" I question
Ryan nods "yes cheese, I like cheese like you like death."
"I never said I liked death" does he think he already knows me?
"Right I'm sorry you said you were at peace with it. I am at peace with my obsession with cheese like you are at peace with death."
"Now I know what kind of food to expect at your funeral" Ryan laughs "you mean after you've murdered me?"
Oh my god he's my friend, isn't he? I mean it's too soon to tell but I actually don't hate this person, if anything I might actually want to- "do you want to come inside?"
"Really? What kind of murderer are you? Not even gonna lure me in" "I have cheese?"
"Yeah ok you got me" he walks back up the steps coming towards me
And as he walks inside my house I ask "did anyone ever tell you that soccer is actually a garbage sport?"
As he's walking into my house, "yeah what are you into?" As I'm shutting the door "ever tried quidditch?"
