Chapter 12 Everything I Never Wanted
1001words
I felt Adeline's eyes wander as we approached the pack house, a twinkle of amazement appearing in them. I had spent so much time and energy renovating the pack house with my own hands. I found the work therapeutic; although Beverly had laughed and said it was an Omega's job to get their hands dirty, not those of an Alpha. Honestly, her opinion meant nothing to me. I knew we were different, even opposites. We liked different foods, enjoyed different hobbies, our wolves ran at different times, and obviously, one day soon, we would rule differently. But she was strong enough to lead the pack with me, and at that moment, it felt like the only factor that mattered. Now, I found myself questioning if spending my life with a mate I had no meaningful connection with was worth it. Heck, I didn't even think it was possible that I had a mate. I might as well lead alone, strong with an iron fist, as I had up to this point.
I heard the chatter of the wolves crowding behind us as we passed through the pack house. I wanted to reprimand them for their blatant disrespect right then, but I was afraid of scaring Adeline off even more. As we passed the marble staircase leading to the pack rooms upstairs, I gave my cook a small nod. He understood what I meant. I found the guest room closest to my bedroom and turned the doorknob, slowly cracking the door open for Adeline. She had been avoiding speaking to me since I walked her out of that cell, answering my questions only with a "yes" or "no." I told her to get comfortable and that suitable clothes would arrive shortly, along with something to eat.
"No," she replied, rubbing her eyes in small circles. I noticed how adorable she was when she did that and wondered if it was one of her quirks. "Adeline, you have to try to eat. I won't let you pass out from a lack of food," I urged her.
"Come on, Addie, I bet you're dying for a warm bath," I said, trying to change the subject.
That stone-cold face slowly curved into a smirk. "I can shower myself, Alpha, thank you for your hospitality," she said as she stared at the door, signaling it was time for me to leave. She was so snippy that I felt myself getting turned on by my mate's aggression.
"Listen, after everything tonight, I'm really sorry. I know an apology doesn't make up for what happened to you in those cages. I should have been there for you and defended you, but I wasn't. I'm not sure if my wolf or I can forgive ourselves—at least not right now," I said, looking directly into her eyes. "The truth is, Adeline, I'm confused about so much right now. You walked into my life and turned it upside down. I care about you. I need you to know that." I stepped forward and rubbed small circles on her back.
I saw tears beginning to form in her eyes as she fought hard to keep them from flowing down her porcelain face. They twinkled briefly, and I noticed how fiercely she was fighting her wolf. "Alpha Jaxon, tonight was a mistake. You already have a mate, chosen or fated. You gave her your word, and if you're really a man of honor, that word should be honored."
I felt my wolf grow anxious at her words, but I calmed him down and reminded him our mate didn't know who we were to her yet. Patience. I wanted her to find out for herself, to feel those feelings and allow them to develop naturally, not by force.
"I've told you already—she is not my mate yet," I said, wrapping my arm around her waist and pulling her close to my chest. I loved how her height matched mine perfectly. I stared down at her enchanting blue eyes and said, "Nothing about tonight was a mistake. It was perfect. Perfect just like you are."
A flush of the most beautiful pink spread across her face. I could stare at her like this for eternity. I took a moment to drink in all her features, her plump lips and striking blue eyes my favorites. I felt her melting into my body as I nudged my face into her neck and inhaled her scent, which made my wolf go wild.
She inhaled sharply, placed two hands on my chest, and with all her strength, pushed me away hard. "What do you want from me? Yes, it was all a mistake, Alpha. As a result, I was abused like cattle. I was abused by those abominations you call guards. They wrapped a belt around my neck like some sort of leash. Let me guess—I'm supposed to just get over it and submit to you now as some kind of payment? That's really fucked up," I could hear her choking on each word that rolled off her lips.
"Adeline—none of this was your fault. It was mine. I should know better than to get involved with one of my wolves, but I couldn't help myself with you. You're special to me," I pleaded.
"I'm so special that now I'm being held captive, right? I just want to go home, and you're not even letting me do that. Don't give me your bullshit about how it's late and unsafe. You and I both know that's a flat-out lie. For fuck's sake, it's almost my birthday, and I've been enslaved—first in a cage, now in a pack house under my Alpha's watchful eye," she rolled her eyes, and I felt her anger rising inch by inch. I just wanted to grab her close and calm her down. I wanted to tell her that I was her mate and that I would spend my entire life making it up to her. Regret pangs stabbed through my chest over and over.
