Chapter 41: She Called Her Mom
1081words
I reached home, feeling like the worst creature on earth. Should I stop my men from forcing them out? Should I forgive them? What would make me feel better? But I want them to suffer. I want them to feel the pain I have felt, and continue to feel, ten times over. How could he have taken Gabriel away from me, all because of a warehouse? I would have gladly renovated it if he had asked. I would have bought back all the damaged goods. But why did he have to kill Gabriel?
'What if he didn't?" a voice echoed in my head.
I don't know what to believe anymore. If it wasn't Nathan, then who is after me? Whoever it was clearly wanted me dead. I know Nathan couldn't hurt a fly... but that was nine years ago. What if he has changed? What if his temper pushed him to do it? Someone needs to tell me the truth, please.
I lifted my head from the steering wheel suddenly. This isn't going the way I want. Hurting Nathan doesn't make me feel any better—it only makes things worse. The way he begged me, the sincerity in his eyes... it made me feel like I was the bad person, like he had never hurt me.
I quickly picked up my phone from the dashboard mount and called my men.
'Hello, ma'am?" Viggo answered.
'Viggo, are you still there?" I asked. 'Leave them alone, okay? Just leave the place."
'They are gone, ma'am," he replied. 'We are on our way home."
'Shit!" I cursed under my breath. 'Fine, I will send your balance later today. Did you lock the doors?"
'Yes, ma'am. We will deliver the keys to your secretary, as instructed."
'Alright," I hung up. 'I can always give it back if I want to," I muttered to myself. Wiping away my tears, I grabbed my bag and stepped out of the car.
'Are you okay?" Maria asked as soon as I walked into the house. I could see the concern in her eyes.
'I'm fine. Where is Razi?" I asked, walking past her.
'She just got back from her lesson. She is upstairs," Maria replied. Then, hesitantly, she added, 'Um, Miss Guzman, may I speak with you for a moment, please?"
I stopped and looked back at her. She looked too troubled to ignore, so I nodded and sat on the nearest couch. She stood next to me.
'You can sit," I offered, patting the seat beside me.
'Thank you," she sat down, her hands tightly clasped together. 'I just wanted to apologize. I know I was hard on you as a mother; I failed you with my harsh words. I thought I was protecting you. I saw the dangers of getting close to those wealthy people. I lived with them long enough to know they don't care about us—they believe they can get away with anything, even hurting us. I didn't realize I was hurting you more," her voice wavered, and tears began to fall. 'I made you who you are today because of my mistakes. I am so deeply sorry, Scarlett. I didn't understand how much my words wounded you until you left. I have always loved you, my child. I didn't prefer Kristine over you just because she was my biological daughter. I love you both equally, and I'm sorry for the deep pain I caused you. Please forgive me."
Tears filled my eyes as I watched her cry. But this wasn't enough for what I suffered. Her tears didn't compare to the oceans I had shed. Her regret wasn't enough to heal my wounds, not enough to erase the memories. I let the tears fall down my cheeks as I stood up. Without a word, I headed upstairs.
'I'm sorry... I'm so sorry," she continued to sob.
Later that day, I sat on my bed, leaning against the headboard, staring at the pages of the novel in my hand. I couldn't bring myself to read. I just stared. I felt like a character in the book—trapped in a story, like someone else was controlling my life, my actions, my emotions. Why else would I be the one hurting so much after everything they did to me?
'Miss Scarlett?" Razi's voice broke through my thoughts, and I quickly wiped away the tears.
'Yes, come in," I called out. She opened the door, holding her large pink teddy bear in her arms.
'I thought you were asleep. Why aren't you in bed?" I asked as she climbed onto the bed beside me, hugging her teddy bear as if it needed comfort.
'I can't sleep," she said softly.
'Really?" I pulled her closer. 'Should I sing you a lullaby? Read you a story? Just tell me what you want, and I will do it," I said with a smile.
She looked up at me, her sapphire eyes shimmering under the light. 'Can you forgive them?" she asked, making my stomach twist.
'What do you mean?"
'I saw Grandma apologizing downstairs. Can you forgive her and everyone else?" she asked. I swallowed hard. 'My teacher told us that forgiveness is the best healer. She also told us a story about a teacher who made her students carry potatoes in a bag, one for every person they hated. I'm sure you have heard it before. Don't you think it's better to forgive and spread love? Or do you enjoy carrying around a bag of rotten, stinky potatoes?"
I shook my head. 'I'm trying, sweetheart. I'm trying to forgive and forget," I said, my voice thick with emotion as tears filled my eyes.
'I know it's hard, but I believe you can do it," she said, snuggling closer, resting her head on my chest. 'I will support you," she whispered. Tears streamed down my face, and pain gripped my heart. Does she think I'm the bad one, too?
'I love you, Mommy."
'What?" I could barely believe my ears as I looked down at her. She was half asleep.
'I said I love you, Mommy," she repeated, her eyes closed, but a small smile played on her lips.
'I love you too, baby," I whispered, pulling her closer into my arms. I had longed to hear those words. I had craved this moment. Joy and relief welled up inside me as I held her close. 'I love you more," I whimpered, tears spilling onto her hair as I kissed her.
