Chapter 14
1019words
"You like him." she repeated with a smile, "In just a month you've succeeded in having a crush on him."
"No." I frowned, "I don't gave a crush on him."
"Yes, you do. But you don't know because you've never had a crush before if I'm not mistaken."
"I- I've already had one."
"On? Josh?! Pff! What you feel now, isn't it pleasant compared to what you felt for josh when y'all just got together? Doesn't this feel natural and not forced?"
I looked at her. She smiled again.
"Shayenne, you like Shane."
"No, I don't."
"I'm telling you because I know you. You can't accept it yet and this because you've never felt it. You're fond of Shane. He makes you laugh easily and he makes you happy most of the time. Lately, you always want to talk to him."
"I always want to you, as well as to Josh, too."
"Pff! Because you find it normal to and not because you want to. You do it because you want to be a loyal fiancée. Whereas with Shane, it's because you want to. It's no obligation with him. Simply your will."
I felt odd and cold.
"I have to avoid him, then. Again." I shook my head.
"Why??" Keisha rolled her eyes.
"He's a friend and I have no right to crush on him, if I even am. Sloane's a friend too and I have no right to crush on her boyfriend. I don't even want to believe it. And that's why I have to start avoiding him again, before it gets worse." I ended, feeling slightly confused.
Keisha hugged me.
"Don't worry, Sha. I guess you're right to avoid him but we both know he won't allow it."
I had to face the truth. But I would not give up.
"He would have to deal with it, Keisha. And if this is how things are gonna be for me, then I prefer to call Josh and answer his proposal."
"What?"
"Yes. I can't bare to fall for Sloane's boyfriend, if I am once again, like you say. They've both been nice to me. But now you inform me that I have a crush on Shane. It's not good news, Keisha. I'm feel guilty right now."
I admitted and she stared at me.
"It's alright. I still hope you find someone, though. That isn't Josh and that sadly isn't Shane, either. Just wait for one more month to pass before you call Josh. Please."
I looked at her.
"Hmmm, okay"
"Great. I'll help you fix dates with some nice guys."
"Alright."
***
The first month was almost over. I was left with four days to the next month. Josh hadn't called me since then. I tried my best not to think of him. I was still trying to get rid of my feelings. I just had to. I needed to.
Life went on not quite well for me. I missed speaking to Shane, though I still spoke to Sloane. It wasn't her that I had to avoid by the way.
Keisha made me meet a few guys indeed who all asked me out on dates. I did go on dates with them but none of them caught my attention. We ended up as friends most of the time. That's when I realized that Keisha had been right. Maybe I did have a crush on Shane.
He called continuously but I didn't pick. He even texted but I didn't reply. And when he'd come to our apartment, Keisha would lie that I wasn't around. It hurt but I had no choice.
I did that continuously for a week and a half.
***
One night, Shane texted:
-You've been strange lately. Don't know why. I think it'll be preferable if we meet and you tell me what's up. You probably won't answer but I expect you at my place tomorrow night.-
I thought and finally came up the decision to meet him. He had the right to know why I was avoiding him again. I went to Keisha's room and told her about it.
"You won't be able to face him." she stated.
"I'll try."
"Sha, maybe that's getting yourself into deeper shit."
"I know. But I'll try. Trust me."
*
The next night at Nine PM, I got dressed and left the apartment for Shane's place. I was nervous and uncomfortable. I arrived his house and knocked at the door. He opened it. It'd been long since I'd seen him. He opened the door for me and a bright smile spread across his face. My heartbeat increased and I tried to breathe straight.
"Come in," he said, warmly. I did so, "You can sit."
I did that too.
"How are you? It's been long." He sat across me.
"I'm alright."
"I don't think so." he stared at me but I avoided his gaze, "You need to tell me something."
"What?"
"Why have you been avoiding me?"
I gulped. How would I tell him that I maybe had feelings for him. How? He would probably think I was some sort of dumb chick who just needed a bit of affection to fall for the first guy that passed by.
"Um..."
"Let me guess. It has to do with Sloane and I?" he looked at me.
I realized that I couldn't tell him anymore. I chickened up.
"No." I forced a smile, " I've just been too busy. That's all."
"Is that why??" he raided his brows.
"Yeah. I'm sorry I didn't find time. But now I'm here." I lied.
That's comforting." he seemed a little relieved. I'd lost. I didn't have that courage. It was the only chance and I blew it . That was it.
"Has Josh called you?" he asked.
"No, he hasn't." I looked at my fingers.
"Don't be hurt. He doesn't deserve you."
I looked at him.
How could I avoid him?
"Thanks." I smiled.
"Good. Now to make you forget your downs," he stood up and gave me his hand. I took it, "I'm gonna take you out right now for fun."
