Chapter 97: I still love you
1184words
She wrapped her arms around herself and looked I didn't like that. Jason was out of her life and I would never let him near her again. As long as there's a breath in my lungs, he will never harm her again... even if we aren't together anymore.
"I can't follow that," I stated.
"What?" Her brow furrowed.
I laughed and shook my head as I grabbed her journal. "I would give anything to time travel back to these dates and ring that fuckers neck. But I'm not the guy for you, lynn."
She rushed up to me and grabbed my shirt.
"What the hell are you talking about, Drake?"
Tears burned my eyes again as I tore my gaze from hers.
"Isn't it obvious? I'm all kinds of fucked up and don't know the first thing about having a serious relationship with a woman. You should run fast and far from me, lynn. You've been through hell and back and need a stable guy who can take care of you."
She moved her hands and cupped my face before she forced me to look down at her, but I couldn't look her in the eyes. I would end up failing her just like everyone else in her life had done.
"Don't you dare say you're giving up on us, Drake. I need you as much as you need me." Her voice shook and her eyes widened. "I can't lose you. Ever."
Fuck.
I broke right there in front of her. Tears streamed down my cheeks and I wanted to hide my face. I had never cried in front of a woman in my life, but her words nearly gutted me. I did need her and there was no way I could lose her either.
I cupped her face back and then slammed my lips onto hers. We kissed and cried at the same time as we clawed at one another. Our tongues twisted and tasted when I felt her hands leave my face and go for my pants.
"L....Lynn," I mumbled against her lips. I wanted her so badly, but I couldn't take her right now. It didn't feel right.
"Please, Drake," she begged against my lips. "Take me right here. Make it all go away. I'm all yours. Now show me that I am."
Fuck me.
I spun her away from me and tore her jeans and panties down around her thighs. There was a perfectly good bed right behind us but there was no way I would touch her on that bed. I couldn't do it.
She placed her hands on the window frame as I jerked my jeans and briefs down around my own thighs. Then I stepped up behind her, grabbed her throat with one hand, and guided my dick between her legs with my other.
Her head fell back against my shoulder as she moaned out and even though I was drunk, I was hard as a fucking rock. She was the only woman who could affect me like this. I must do the same to her too because she was wet as hell and I easily slipped inside of her.
"Fuck!" I groaned out when her pussy squeezed my dick like a vice.
I froze when I was all the way in and heard her panting. I had to squeeze my eyes shut and take a few deep breaths to prevent myself from blowing my load almost immediately after pushing inside of her. She moved her hips and cursed.
"Don't... don't fucking move."
She giggled and moved her hips again. If she was trying to kill me, it was fucking working.
Fuck it.
I grabbed her hip with my free hand and fucked her so hard that her head bounced against the window. Her moans filled the room and I had to bite down on my bottom lip to hold out just a bit longer. My dick swelled and I knew it was only a matter of seconds until I was exploding inside of her.
Then her pussy tightened and I let out a long groan as my orgasm pumped through me. But as soon as it was over, I felt weird. I couldn't help but feel as if I had just used sex to disguise the real problem.
I pulled out of her and tugged my pants up before I turned and fisted my hands. I needed to punch something.
"Drake?" Lynn whispered as she came up behind me and lightly placed her hand on my shoulder.
"You deserve better, lynn. I just fucked you instead of talking this through."
She jumped in front of me and grabbed my face again.
"I wanted you to. I'm the one who begged for it. Being sensual with me doesn't make you a bad person. I needed to feel our connection."
"But don't you get it?!" I snapped a bit too loudly. "Our connection is sexual! I'll only ever be just a pole for women to sit on!"
She broke down in sobs and forced me to keep looking at her.
"Drake, I'm so sorry. I- I don't know what came over me. I never would have asked you to do this if I knew this is how you felt. Oh my god." She pulled a hand away and covered her mouth. Then she stared so deeply into my eyes that I thought she truly saw my soul. "I love you, Drake. With my whole heart and soul. I never want you to feel like this way again." She took my hand in hers and held it tightly. "Yes, we have a very powerful sexual connection, but don't you see that it's so much more than that? We complete each other without even knowing it. Our connection is so much deeper than we think. It's why our sexual connection is so amazing."
She wasn't wrong. I've never felt this way about another human being in my life and it scared the hell out of me. There was a connection all right and there was only way one to solidify it.
"Move in with me when we get home," I blurted out.
Her eyes went wide and her mouth opened to say something when someone knocked on the door.
"Lynn? Drake?" Her mom's voice came through and I wanted to tell her to fuck off, but I wouldn't do that. "The party has wrapped up and... and your father and I would like to talk with you both."
My heart sank into my stomach. I had no idea what they wanted to discuss but I was freaked out knowing that I was drunk. Well, kind of. The buzz was wearing off fast.
I kissed her lips softly and ignored what I had brought to the table just seconds ago. She was clearly freaked out and I wasn't in the right mind to take her rejection at the moment.
