Chapter 48
1560words
I really was not in the mood to go back to school. However, I didn’t have the option of calling sick; I was still on my probation despite being on my second week back. Karen had even called in to excuse our absence on Friday, but the principal still extended my probation due to lateness and ‘behaviour issues’. I think he was just bitter he didn’t get to kick me out.
I kept my phone off since the argument with Loki yesterday and was glad when Adam didn’t come home last night since I wasn’t sure I could stomach his questions. I hadn’t even spoken to Storm, which of course, I felt guilty about, but honestly, but I had needed some time alone to think. Besides, it wasn’t as if she was alone; she had Karen. Still, I would make sure a point to visit her after school to explain anyway; it wasn’t her fault her brother was a manwhore.
I make my way toward the school’s main entrance, planning to avoid everyone, only to find Loki was already walking toward me. Fantastic. I turn away from him, pushing past the students to reach a different door.
“Scarlett, please wait,” his deep voice called after me, sending a shiver down my spine despite our current situation.
“I’m not in the mood to deal with your bullshit right now, Loki. I meant what I said to you. We are done,” I remark coldly, not daring to look at him as I rush for the door. But before I could reach it, someone stepping into my path. I looked up, rage burning in my eyes expected to see Loki glaring down at me. Only it was not his dark eyes that gazed down at me, but pretty amber eyes as Asher stood before me. I didn’t know if I should have felt relieved or guilty as hell. Asher glances between Loki and me before setting on me again.
“You okay?” He asked, reaching out to comfort me. I nodded, stepping out of his reach. Hurt flashed in Asher’s eyes only for a second before it was gone, replaced by a soft smile. It was not fair for me to bait them against each other; they were friends and teammates. I had destroyed that.
“Scarlett, can we just talk for a minute?” Loki pleads, appearing beside me. I expected him to touch me, something I wasn’t sure I could endure after fucking him. My body was still drawn to him, whether I liked it or not, like electricity to water. Yet, he didn’t try to touch me.
“She doesn’t want to talk to you right now,” Asher defends, moving between Loki and me.
“Oh, piss off, Whiteforn. This has nothing to do with you,” Loki growls. I didn’t look at him, couldn’t bring myself to see Loki face, but couldn’t seem to walk away either.
“Yeah, and she doesn’t want anything to do with you right now, so back off.” Asher directs his tone harsh. I felt silly having Asher protect me when I didn’t need him to. I had proven that to him on the mats on Thursday, yet, it was a sweet gesture, one I sure as shit didn’t deserve. Finally, I pull myself together enough to face them. Loki eyes were already on me, and instantly I was taken back to his bedroom. The way he looked at me as my body quivered under him as orgasm after orgasm rolled through me.
“Rain in your dog,” Loki warns, his black eyes promising violence, but not towards me.
“Asher, it’s okay. He isn’t worth it,” I remark, implying so much more than I’d said. Loki flinched as if I had slapped him. I was a bitch, a fucking crawl heartless bitch. But hadn’t he hurt me first? Was I not entitled to hurt him too? So why did I regret it as soon as the words left my tongue?
Asher stepped back toward me offering his hand, but I didn’t take it. Instead, turning on my heels, I stormed into the school, leaving them both in the dust.
“Wait up,” Asher called after me. I didn’t wait, but it made no difference he easily caught up. “What was all that about?” He asked, peering back toward the door. Loki, thank god, hadn’t followed.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I dismiss, practically running down the hall in my pursuit for class, even though I had well over fifteen minutes. Asher frowned but didn’t say another word, though he didn’t take his eyes off me the entire time.
After we made it up the stairs and headed toward my hallway, I slowed my pace turning to him. “What?!” I demand my anger getting the better of me. He held up his hands in submission. I sighed. “Look, I’m sorry, I’m really not in the mood today for chit chat or whatever. You should probably just avoid me for a while,” I suggest, running my hands through my hair in frustration.
“Hey, you don’t have to apologise to me. I’m here for you regardless of if you’re pissed off or happy. Just don’t push me away,” Asher offers, stuffing his hands into his pockets, a goofy smile tugging at his lips.
“You need to stop being nice to me, Asher. I don’t deserve it,” I exclaim, throwing my hands up in the air.
“That’s where you’re wrong,” Asher grinned. “You deserve everything, don’t sell yourself short,” I roll my eyes at him.
“Asher, I’m not the girl you seem to think I am. I’m not a good person; I don’t do the right thing. You need to wake up and realise that I’m bad for you,” I rant, my frustrations and guilt rushing out of me as tears prick at my eyes.
“I know who you are, Scarlett. It doesn’t scare me,” Asher shrugs, looking up at me through lowered lashes. Why was Asher so fucking sweet? I wanted him to hate me, needed him to hate me as much as I hated myself. The guilt was eating me alive.
“I slept with Loki,” I blurt, bracing myself for the fallout. But it never came. Asher just watched me. As if trying to see inside my head. He didn’t even look remotely surprised like he had known or at least suspected. I was glad that the hallway up here was quiet; nobody had heard me admit my dirty secret.
“I suspected as much,” Asher finally replied, his voice even. “When I saw his bike that day, I picked you up from the party,” he clarified. I nod, the memory running through my head.
“I was with him. Though we didn’t sleep together that night,” I correct. “On Saturday, after the game....” I trail off, not wanting to go into detail with him or remember how good it had felt.
“Well, that explains why I couldn’t find you or why you were avoiding my messages,” Asher shrugs, seeming almost un-fazed by the information. god, it would have been easier if he had slapped me. “Do you have feelings for him?” He considered, his eyes drifting down the hall like he didn’t really want to know the answer. I wasn’t even sure I knew how to answer anyway. I had been ignoring my feeling for Loki for so long that I wasn’t even sure how I felt about him anymore.
“I don’t know,” I sigh, hating myself all the more. I was dragging Asher along with me, and it wasn’t fair. He nods, seeming to understand what was unsaid. “How are you so calm about this?” I demand, venting my frustration. Asher was a relaxed person, but not even being a little bit angry or upset?
“I’ll admit, I am jealous. But I didn’t walk into this blind. I know who Loki is. Knew you were involved,” Asher reveals, a half-smile tugging at his lips. I always forgot how smart he was; he didn’t seem to miss a beat.
“Then why bother?” I ask, confused.
“Because I knew he would fuck up, he’d never be able to offer you what you want.”
“And you can?” I ask, looking up into his amber eyes. Maybe he was right. Maybe Loki was the kick up the arse I needed to push me towards the right directing. My eyes flicker to Asher’s lips in wonder.
“I’d like to believe so,” Asher grinned, moving closer to me, his eyes drifting to my own lips.
The bell rang, making me jump back as I’d just been caught masturbating or something. “We’ll finish this later,” Asher promised, biting his bottom lip, a playful glint in his eyes.
Like nothing between us had changed, Asher walked me to and from class, almost as if I’d imagined the whole thing. It was nice to put everything in my rearview mirror and move on with my life. Despite the ache in my chest, I didn’t leave a thought for Loki; instead, I plastered a smile on my face and laughed at Asher’s jokes. It felt good pretending like Loki hadn’t ripped my heart in two; it felt like I had won somehow. But, of course, it was a lie; deep down, my heart was broken, and I was all the colder for it. Loki didn’t approach me again, despite his constant glancing.
